Get That Old Thang Back: When Is It Ok To Date Your Ex?

African American couple dateBack in touch with an old flame? Here are five questions to ask yourself before you add fuel to the fire with an ex.

1. How long have you been apart?

If the answer is a “matter of weeks,” consider whether you two are really broken up or simply on a “break.” Keep in mind that going back and forth is not togetherness but a matter of convenience. In saying that, if you two have been separated long enough – think a few years of growing pains — then it may be worth your while to make new introductions.

2. What was the reason behind the breakup?

Above all else, before attempting to get that old thang back, revisit why you broke up to begin with. Was it simply the wrong time in your life for love? Or were there more serious issues such as infidelity or abuse in any form including: substance, emotional, financial or physical? Or maybe your relationship was based on sex.

If these behaviors have changed, you’ve got to ask yourself: will it last or is it just for show? Also, consider your role in the original breakup and be prepared to have tough conversations about what really transpired and if you’re really ready to forgive and forget. If so, carry on …