Infertility, Surrogacy and Promoting Bonding/Attachment with the Intended Mother
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A few weeks ago, Gabrielle Union and Dwayne Wade were able to welcome their first child together through the miracle of surrogacy after suffering through the trauma of infertility for 3 years. Gabrielle Union has publicly and courageously shared her struggles with infertility many times, most recently in her book, “We’re Going To Need More Wine.” .
During her first post-baby interview with Oprah Winfrey, Union admitted that while she’s ecstatic her daughter is finally here, it’s “still hard to let go” of the fact that she couldn’t experience pregnancy herself after spending years trying to make it happen.
“For three years, my body has been a prisoner of trying to get pregnant — I’ve either been about to go into an IVF cycle, in the middle of an IVF cycle or coming out of an IVF cycle,” she explained.
Her candid share has opened a very needed conversation around the very common issue of infertility as well as parenting after surrogacy.
Infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant or the inability to maintain a viable pregnancy, after one year of trying to become pregnant. For women over the age of 35, infertility is defined as an inability to become pregnant after 6 months of trying. Approximately 10% of women in the United States or 6 million women in the United States ages 15 to age 44 are affected by infertility. 
There are many reasons for infertility.  This may include problems with the number of eggs or quality of eggs in women, as well as a number of sperm and quality of sperm in men. In women problems related to infertility leading to decreased egg production or decreased number of viable eggs may be related to several issues, including advanced age, history of cancer, problems with uterine lining, problems with blockage of the fallopian tubes or history of abdominal surgery.
In male infertility may additionally be related to several reasons, including, decreased sperm production which may be related to environmental reasons including temperature and medication exposure, history of cancer treatment, as well as problems related to delivery such as premature ejaculation. In both men and women environmental factors such as smoking, and obesity can affect fertility. An evaluation for fertility requires an extensive workup by a fertility specialist.
For couples that may find themselves affected by infertility that are unable to successfully conceive and carry a pregnancy to term, despite the application of significant interventions, surrogacy can be a viable option. There are two general approaches to surrogacy. During traditional surrogacy, the father provides