The dating scene can be difficult for anyone these days, but can you imagine dating someone with a mental disorder such as schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia and relationships
Schizophrenia is a mental disorder that is characterized by delusions, hallucinations, and disorganized thoughts, speech, and behavior.
The causes of schizophrenia may be a result of genetic and environmental factors. The environmental factors include: the age of a person’s parents; being raised in a city; cannabis use during adolescence; certain infections; and poor nutrition during pregnancy.
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How common is schizophrenia?
Schizophrenia is a somewhat common condition. Worldwide, it affects 221 in every 100,000 people.
Words Matter: What to Say to Someone With Schizophrenia
Signs you’re dating a schizophrenic
More common in men, someone with schizophrenia may show different signs or symptoms from another person with schizophrenia. These signs may give you an idea of if your partner might be schizophrenic:
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1. Changes in sleep habits and intellectual interests
Sleep disturbances are common and severe in individuals with schizophrenia. These disturbances can significantly impact their quality of life and overall functioning.
Common types of Sleep Disturbances in people with schizophrenia:
- Insomnia: Difficulty falling or staying asleep
- Early morning awakening: Waking up several hours before the desired time
- Restless sleep: Frequent awakenings throughout the night
- Disrupted sleep-wake cycle: Irregular sleep patterns or difficulty adhering to a regular sleep schedule
- Nightmare disorder: Frequent and disturbing nightmares
2. Constant feelings of depression
Depression is highly prevalent in people with schizophrenia, affecting up to 50% of cases.
The prevalence of depression may vary depending on the stage of schizophrenia (e.g., acute episode, remission).
Understanding the overlap between both depression and schizophrenia in symptoms, causes, and treatment approaches is essential for providing effective care to individuals with both conditions. By addressing both disorders simultaneously, healthcare professionals can help improve outcomes and enhance the quality of life for these patients.
3. Making irrational statements
A delusion is a belief held with complete conviction, even though it’s based on a mistaken, strange or unrealistic view. It may affect the way the person behaves. Delusions can begin suddenly or may develop over weeks or months.
Some people develop a delusional idea to explain a hallucination they’re having. For example, if they have heard voices describing their actions, they may have a delusion that someone is monitoring their actions.
Someone experiencing a paranoid delusion may believe they’re being harassed or persecuted. They may believe they’re being chased, followed, watched, plotted against or poisoned, often by a family member or friend.
Some people who experience delusions find different meanings in everyday events or occurrences.
4. Neglecting personal hygiene
Poor personal hygiene, such as failing to regularly wash, use deodorant, change clothes, and brush teeth, can be one of the first signs a person has a mental illness. This deterioration can stem from a general apathy or lack of motivation—symptoms of the illness. Your loved one may also ignore these personal tasks because he or she is consumed by intense symptoms, such as hallucinations and delusions.
While your loved one is learning to get the disease under control, it can be difficult to change this behavior. However, once a treatment plan begins to work and symptoms become less intense, you can help your loved one relearn good hygiene. One way is to encourage him or her to attend social-skills groups or cognitive behavioral therapy, which can teach ways to cope with symptoms of the illness and live a more productive life.
In addition to apathy, many people with schizophrenia tend to be disorganized.
5. Social withdrawal of change in social activity
Speaking very little and a blunted affect — meaning showing little emotion — may be more consistent with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. Low motivation, low energy, and low ability to feel pleasure were common in both diagnoses.
6. Trouble conveying emotion
Some people with schizophrenia often have trouble keeping track of their thoughts and conversations.
Some people find it hard to concentrate and will drift from one idea to another. They may have trouble reading newspaper articles or watching a TV program.
People sometimes describe their thoughts as “misty” or “hazy” when this is happening to them. Thoughts and speech may become jumbled or confused, making conversation difficult and hard for other people to understand.
Some people describe their thoughts as being controlled by someone else, that their thoughts are not their own, or that thoughts have been planted in their mind by someone else.
Another feeling is that thoughts are disappearing, as though someone is removing them from their mind.
How does schizophrenia affect relationships?
Being in a relationship with a schizophrenic may mean a few things.
First, as the partner or significant other of a person with schizophrenia, you may not be the main priority in your relationship. The person that treats them, such as a therapist, will most likely be the individual they seek out for advice on managing the disorder.
Another thing to consider is that your private business will not necessarily be private as your partner will most likely feel the need to share with the therapist the details of what is happening in your relationship.
Then, on the other hand, some decisions in the relationship may be run by you for backup to receive your feedback – a sanity check of sorts.
While dating, find activities that may not necessarily require lots of concentration, which may be a result of the medication as well.
Medication can also play a part in making your partner more tired, resulting in either earlier bedtimes at night or sleeping in longer in the day. This might even affect the intimacy level in your relationship, so this is something to take into consideration.
RELATED: How to Help a Partner With Schizophrenia
Tips for dating someone with schizophrenia
Romantic relationships can present many difficulties along the way. Dating someone with schizophrenia may present another set of challenges that a person may not be expecting. There are several tips that individuals may want to consider.
Acknowledge the stigma
There is a lot of stigma attached to schizophrenia. Research from 2020 suggests that approximately 27% of participantsTrusted Source with the condition may encounter discrimination in romantic and sexual relationships.
Acknowledging this stigma and separating the person from the condition may help those with schizophrenia feel there is a level of understanding and empathy for the condition.
Educate yourself about their condition
Learn as much as you can about their condition. Educating yourself about your partner’s condition means you can be a better health advocate for them. It can also help you in general, as when you have a better understanding of what they’re going through, you’ll be able to lead with compassion, not frustration or misunderstanding. Remember that they act the way they do due to their diagnosis and that your support can make a true difference.
Be empathetic and patient
When dating a person with schizophrenia, there may be challenges in communication. It is important to stay calm and patient, practice empathy, and reserve judgment, which can help build trust and understanding.
Take it slow
Don’t rush into anything–even if you have feelings for that person. A person with schizophrenia may have difficulty trusting others, opening up to people, and overcoming a lack of self-confidence in romantic relationships. They may also find intimacy and processing emotions challenging.
They may also not respond well to stress and anxiety, which can come with entering and maintaining a romantic relationship.
Therefore, taking it slow when dating someone with schizophrenia can help them adjust to the relationship and give them time to build trust.
Talk about sex and sexual side effects
A person with schizophrenia may find intimacy challenging for several reasons. Schizophrenia and the medications someone can be taking for it can affect their sexual quality of life.
Additionally, individuals may have low self-esteem, a low libido, erectile dysfunction, difficulty performing certain sexual activities, and low motivation.
Talking about sex and sexual side effects may help a person understand the relationship someone with schizophrenia has with sex. It may also make sexual partners feel more comfortable and at ease.
Research suggests that speaking about sex and the sexual effects of schizophrenia can benefit someone with the condition.
The severity of some of these points will differ with each person with schizophrenia, so the most important thing to consider is how you can handle the extent of these things in a relationship.
For instance, your partner may be needier than others that you dated, but maybe you prefer someone who relies on you so much to the point where they may be looked at as needy.
Another example is friendships that your partner may lack. In a situation like this, are you prepared to take on the role of being your partner’s main friend and the only person they will most likely turn to?
Dating or having a partner with schizophrenia may have its challenges but what relationship doesn’t? As with any relationship, communication upfront and knowing what you’re getting into will help you in your decision to date someone with schizophrenia.
