Stay Or Leave? 9 Tips To Help You Decide

Cape Town, South Africa

A partner is meant to provide love, support and help you to evolve as an individual and a couple. But when you find a relationship lacking, or as a source of pain and fear, it may be time consider other options.

Read: The 10 Traits Of Highly Successful Realtionships

After deep soul-searching, you may come to realize that for your own well-being you may need to step away from the relationship. Once you’ve admitted this to yourself you may be flooded by fear, guilt, or uncertainty. How do you know you’re doing the right thing? And what steps do you take to get there?

Here are nine tips to get out of a mediocre relationship and reclaim your life.

1. First and foremost, you have to be honest with yourself.

If you are even considering whether you should get out of a relationship, chances are something has been happening for quite some time to make you feel upset. Ask yourself some basic questions like:

  • Do I feel energized or drained after I spent an hour with my partner?
  • Do I want to spend time with him/her or do I feel like I have to?
  • Do I go to my partner looking for a response that I never get?
  • Do I come away consistently disappointed by his/her comments and behavior?
  • I giving way more to the relationship than my partner?

If most of the answers to these questions are ‘yes’, maybe it is time to look after your own emotional needs.

2. Clarify the problems by keeping a record.

If you are still undecided whether you should get out of this relationship, start keeping a record of things in this relationship that make you feel consistently bad. It could be that you are weak and scared of striking out on your own or a feeling of worthlessness and shame that you are suffering from. If you find your emotional log consistently featuring negative self-perception, then you can be pretty sure you are caught up in a bad relationship.

3. Figure out what’s keeping you there.

All relationships, even unhappy ones, offer certain perks or else why would anyone continue to put up with them. So consider that could be keeping you tied to your partner; it could be, for instance, the security you share even though there is no love or it could be that your partner make you feel attractive and sexy again even though this doesn’t keep him/her from disrespecting you or putting you down always. Determining what, specifically, you are getting from this relationship will help you to gauge if the perks are worth the constant unhappiness and perhaps help you find other sources of self-validation.

4. Assemble a support team.

Ending a relationship is one of the loneliest experiences and there is no reason why you should have to go through it alone. So as you start the, invest time and effort in building a close circle of family and friends who will provide you with emotional support as…