As a man, there are a lot of things you should say to a woman if you like her, want to honor her and care for her. But if you do care for a woman, there are certain things you should never say.
11. “Are you pregnant?”
We could talk about how it may sound good in your mind before you say it, but trust us, you're making a huge mistake by pointing out a woman's protruding belly. Women make complicated and introspective assessments of whether and when to reveal that they are pregnant. Even if it's obvious, wait for the woman to mention it. Whether a woman is pregnant or not is none of your business.
10. "You're not like the other girls."
It sounds so flattering on the outside, but it's really just a way of saying, "Hey, most girls are lame and you're not. Good for you!" Most women don't like putting other women down. A nice twist on this instead would be to say, "You're not like anyone I've ever met before."
9. “Are you done getting dressed yet?"
Women take getting dressed very seriously. Unless you want to hear constant nagging for the rest of your evening, simply accept that her getting ready will take a while.
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Find something to do with your time that can be ended the moment she is done because heaven forbid, you are playing a video game or something, and the instant she is done, you guys have to leave. Even though you just waited 30 minutes for her, she will not wait 5 minutes for you to save your game. That’s just how these things work, unfortunately…
8. "I didn't know you were that smart."
Once again, outside looking in, it sounds like a backward compliment. Almost like, "You're much smarter than I thought." But even that is bad. Well, if you didn't think she was smart to begin with, then what are you doing here with her? Unless you were looking to be with a woman dumber than you (which some men are). Is she supposed to be flattered that you were only interested in me for her looks or do you only date women who you don't think have any substance at all? Either way, that comment is off.
https://youtu.be/B-3jirkSeEk?si=8RA6P2Y2jzyFUKw0
7. "How are you still single?"
Women don't like that question. There are so many reasons why women are single. If you're saying this, then you might be buying into the extremely sexist idea that if a woman is single it's because no man wants her. If she's so beautiful/smart/amazing, then there must be something wrong with her, right? WRONG. But it is okay to make the logical assumption that she is... single because she's picky, because she can afford to be, and because she has choices.
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6. “Are you pregnant?”
Whew! This has been said before many, many times to a woman and trust me, it's not worth it. We could talk about the social, personal, or medical realities of childbirth. Women make complicated and introspective assessments of whether and when to reveal that they are pregnant, but we don’t have to. Whether a woman is pregnant or not is none of your business. If she mentions it, then and only then comment it on it. Otherwise, save yourself the embarrassment.
5. “When are you going to have children?”
This is a loaded question on many fronts. What if she can't have children? There are a number of women who suffer from infertility issues. Some women simply don't want to have children. Not to mention issues of their past, like rape, sexual abuse, etc. This question also supports the sexist assumption that a woman's worth is tied to motherhood, all women should want to have children.
Having a child of your own is truly amazing, but you should never ask a woman when she plans on having one. If a woman wants to share her reproductive plans with you, she will do so when she chooses.
4. “It must be that time of the month!”
Ovulation, menopause, and menstrual cycles affect women differently. It can be insulting, juvenile, and ignorant to assume that any time a woman is having a bad day, is in a bad mood, or is having strong emotions it’s because of her period. News flash: men also experience shifts and changes in their hormones every month, and sometimes they’re not that great at expressing their emotions either.
Just think about it like this: would you want people to dismiss your feelings based on just your hormones?
3. “You should smile more.”
This particular suggestion is commonly also used as a pickup line. So, not only is it sexist but it’s also unsolicited advice, it creates unfair expectations about a woman’s public appearance, and it implies a man knows what’s best for a woman.
A woman does not owe you a smile, nor does she exist to provide anyone something beautiful to look at. How about first smiling then maybe giving her something to make her smile instead of making her head hurt and roll her eyes.
2. “You look tired.”
Chances are she probably is and your pointing it doesn't help at all. Most of the time, when a guy is saying this, he's setting something up for his own personal gain. For example, if she's tired, then he could come and "swoop" in to give her "rest" (rest is a code word for sex). Telling a woman that she's tired is not helping, bro. Leave it alone.
1. “Relax! You should just calm down!”
Whether you know it or not, you just set up a ticking time bomb waiting to explode with that simple phrase. While it might seem like the right thing to say to diffuse a situation, NEVER ever, and we mean ever, tell your girlfriend or wife to relax or calm down. You might not pay for it instantly, but without a doubt, she will make you regret you ever muttered those words.
BONUS: "If I was your kid's dad, I would..."
It's hard enough being a single mom or a mother that may have a complicated relationship with her child(ren)'s father, so men making a comment about her parenting skills is not helping anyone.
