What many may have perceived as jabs thrown at former NFL star Cam Newton over his lifestyle was the total opposite.
Dr. Cheyenne Bryant, who recently went viral after her two-hour-long conversation with Newton, said she wasn’t there to go to war with Newton, even though he appeared to be triggered by her comments about him having several kids with multiple women.
“I’m in my promise land,” she told BlackDoctor.org during a video interview. “That’s why I was able to be so calm and collected with Cam Newton…because I didn’t come in there in a war zone,” she says. “At the beginning of our interview, if y’all pay attention, Cam makes a really funny comment where he said, ‘I got the boxing gloves on. I’m here to win.’ And I explained to him I don’t have boxing gloves on. I’m not here to win. I’m here to do a job. I have a purpose, I’m an expert. I’m here to provide expertise that will shift and change lives.”
The two didn’t see eye to eye on some topics related to marriage and children, with Newton defending his choice to have several children with women he didn’t marry. Newton revealed that he wants to add to his family of eight children and may not see marriage in his future because of his fears during their discussion on his “Funky Friday” podcast.
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The interview took social media by storm after Dr. Bryant called Newton out for allegedly “creating broken families” due to his actions, with many Black men and women sharing their perspectives on the issue.
“My intent was what manifested from that interview. I wasn’t there to throw blows with him,” Dr. Bryant says. “I’m not in the wilderness and what you learn is, as you do the right work that’s effective, which is the work that I provide all of my clients and that I teach in my hybrid certification program is whenever you come war-ready, life will always give you something to go to war with.”
Sharing her expertise on mental health, relationships, and marriage is nothing new for Dr. Bryant, who does this for a living. She has engaged in therapy and coaching sessions with actor Nick Cannon and many others.
Dr. Bryant wears multiple hats. In addition to being a psychology expert, she’s a renowned life coach, president of a branch of the NAACP, and was a co-producer of MTV’s nominated Best Unscripted Reality Show, “Teen Mom Family Reunion”.
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She’s also a health advocate in her community, saying she and others were the first “to implement a COVID-19 testing center in the inner city. There were none. We had the very first COVID-19 testing center in the country. It was located in Carson, California.”
Meanwhile, Dr. Bryant was born to teenage parents who eventually overcame addiction and a gangster lifestyle, and maintained a healthy relationship with them despite their struggles.
“I was a little girl who grew up in the inner city, the product of two teenage parents—a mother who was addicted to the drugs my father was selling,” Dr. Bryant says. “My dad was one of the founders of a gang out here in California, so he was a gangster and a dope dealer.”
“Fortunately, they both transitioned,” she continues. “My dad became a family man before he passed, with a career, doing amazing work. And my mom transitioned into sobriety, thank God she’s still alive. She’s now the vice president of my companies, project manages all our real estate developments, and also runs her own company, helping folks who are disabled by ensuring they get the care and resources they need and advocating for them.”
Unapologetic about her path in life, Dr. Bryant says she is exactly where she wants to be. “I ran into a woman named Dr. Cheyenne Bryant who was exactly who I wanted to be and I ran into a life that is exactly what I wanted.”
“And so, when I say that people can become exactly who they want to become and people can be the person they really want to be in life…that s*** is real and it happened,” Dr. Bryant explains.
In an extensive conversation via Zoom, BDO spoke with Dr. Bryant about the reactions to her interview with Newton, her approach to therapy and life coaching, her views on building families through healthy relationships and marriages, and much more. The interview has been slightly edited for brevity and clarity. (You can book a session with Dr. Bryant here)
A lot of people probably know you from back in the day when you were producing that MTV show, but tell me more about yourself from that point on in your journey for folks who may not be familiar with Dr. Bryant.
Bryant: “My title is psychology expert and life coach. I started off as a marriage family and child therapist for about 10 plus years, and worked for a wonderful non-profit, where we dealt with court-ordered DCFS families and kids and did a lot of reunification and helping parents who had a lot of drug abuse and a lot of inner city issues and concerns. A lot of kids who were in a household experiencing parents who are on crack cocaine, I mean alcoholism you name it. The majority of those kids were Black and brown. And then once I finished with that, I transitioned over to a psychology expert, and life coach and obtained my doctorate degree. I have four degrees. I have three in psychology and one in African studies. I have a marriage family and child therapy master’s degree from the University of Phoenix and then I have my doctorate degree, which is in counseling psychology. There’s a lot of different training and accolades that I have accomplished over the years just to keep myself abreast of new theories and new ways of healing and different modalities that I know will be effective for myself. But more than myself, for my clients. I have a lot of clients who have Schizophrenia, Bipolar (disorder), depression, and anxiety and are on several medications. And so, for me, to understand the effects of the medication, not just on their diagnosis, but also how it affects them physiologically so that I understand their behavior, too. I also am the co-producer and I developed the show ‘Teen Mom Family Reunion’ on MTV. It’s the biggest show on that network. And in addition to developing and co-producing it, I also was an on-camera life coach for the teen moms and dads and the family. So it was a really amazing experience.”
How do you think Cam Newton received your message about “creating broken families?”
Bryant: “So Cam was very much triggered, but he also said that. So what I do believe Cam did that was respectable or should I say that was admirable. I don’t know if admirable is the right word but where he can get some positivity thrown his way is that he was honest. He said I’m very triggered. He identified that. He was honest about his situation: ‘I have eight by three and I want more.’ He is right to his preference, he is right to how he wants to curate and create his life. He has every right to do that and the women are not victims.”
These women are also choosing to be involved with that kind of man. And so of course, low functioning meets low functioning, but also a lot of low-functioning women that is a part of a low-function of behavior is when they deem a high valued man as also being high functioning. And there’s a huge arrogance about a woman who believes that she can be baby mama number three, four, five, six, seven or eight, and you are going to get a different man than one through five got. That’s just not how it works. And so you know I always say and this is probably going to get a lot of backlash and I think everybody can see at this point that I don’t care about backlash. I always say a baby daddy’s gonna be a baby daddy. A baby mama’s gonna be a baby mama. If I’m a baby mama, that doesn’t mean a woman who got married and had her kids and tried it the right way and now they are divorced. Now there are broken homes at the expense of a divorce. You’re out here procreating. You’re doing the Cam Newton style.”
During some of your sessions, do you see any common issues facing either Black women, Black men or couples that you have to address? I can assume that there are probably some common issues.
Bryant: “The most common issues I find with Black men are they feel misunderstood. They can’t find a therapist that they feel they can be authentically who they are with. They find that in sessions they’re still having to code switch like they have to in the business world or in the real world and they want to be able to be in session…and say things that are maybe culturally inappropriate in certain settings and they want to be able to express themselves from a Black man’s perspective. They don’t want to be deemed disrespectful, they don’t want to be deemed unarticulate, they don’t want to be deemed low functioning, or unsophisticated because they’re saying things that they can relate to in the world that they have created especially for sophisticated Black men…so they’re constantly wearing a mask or a costume and their deteriorating internally.
It’s also a lack of knowing how to be this idea of what women, particularly Black women…have placed on what a Black man should be in a relationship, should be in the world, should be as a father and should be as a husband. When the majority of Black women haven’t had any of those or above. Meaning, a majority of Black women haven’t had a father in the house, so they are fatherless little girls. Fortunately, I’m not. Thank God. And so they are giving blind direction on their fairytale ideology of what they believe you should show up as and if you don’t fit this box and guess what, you’re not valuable…an intense emasculation that comes verbally or nonverbally through a lack of respect, a lack of submission to a lot of Black men in their relationships. Not all, I’m saying a lot. And then I find that the Black women who are submitting and who are allowing their man to be authentically who he is, find themselves in a relationship with an extremely low-functioning man. And so it’s unequally yoked and very unbalanced. So she’s finding herself sophisticated and strong and well-balanced with being alpha submissive, which means she’s a hybrid and she’s catering and she’s loving. And she has a man who is low-functioning. And so what is she doing? She’s carrying him…she’s dealing with a lot of infidelity and she is struggling with not wanting to leave so that she doesn’t end up being a stereotypical or a statistical Black single woman in a broken home.”
Cam Newton shared his truth regarding his views on marriage and children. Some people on social media commended him for being brutally honest. What are your thoughts on this?
Bryant: “I actually received a lot of really positive, empowering responses from men and women, majority being Black men who have been like, ‘Hey, big dog, you know, she’s right, I’m 27 and I have three kids by three different women and I’m creating broken homes, and I don’t like it but I’ve done it. And we do need to create more husbands and less baby daddies.’
I mean it just made my whole heart smile, pushing for therapy, pushing for help, pushing for coaching, just promoting to other Black men, like, ‘Dog, you got to get this help, you gotta stop this cycle, this ain’t right.’ and even transparently giving their testimony of being 30, or 40, or 26, with all these kids and going ‘This ain’t it…doc is on to something, more women could deliver the message like she did, where it wasn’t emasculating, she wasn’t attacking this man, she was just giving information and trying to bring awareness to him and more educating him than we as Black men would be more receptive to it. That’s good stuff.’
The issue I have with that though is we shouldn’t need someone to say something in a particular way for us to receive the things that are going to create better in us. That’s also an emotionally unintelligent way of looking at things.”
What do you say to those Black men who don’t necessarily care about marriage, but still have or want children?
Bryant: “So to the men who don’t believe in marriage, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a man or a woman having a preference, whether it’s saying, ‘I don’t believe in marriage’ or ‘I want a polyamorous relationship.’ I think that’s just something that needs to be openly discussed with the people in your polyamorous village. Just because it’s not for me, doesn’t mean it’s not for others. The problem comes when you’re living a polyamorous lifestyle, like Cam Newton, and not everyone is in agreement… because you have the other baby mama, who just got online and said after baby No. 5 she thought they’d be getting married. So polyamorous and marriage can’t coexist.”
One question came from a friend on social media as they found out I was talking to you. It was from a Black woman who felt like Black women develop faster than most Black men and are on another level when it comes to education and intellectual. Do you find that to be true and is that an issue when it comes to dating?
Bryant: “In most cases, I do find that to be true. It can cause an issue if the woman is not willing to be patient in the areas where there’s a learning curve. And I do believe that as Black women, we have to find the balance of not being too patient. And certain things are age-appropriate. When you’re in your 20s, yes, you can get what a guy and you see potential in your waiting for the potential to actualize. When you’re of age, like probably your friend, who’s an attorney who’s already established that ain’t appropriate. You got to lock in with the man who’s already got some building blocks that he can show for, and however, if he is a good man in majority of these moving parts, then there has to be a level of patience and grace, and deliverance and mercy for the places you do see the learning curve so that you can communicate to him.”
You’re always going to have to give knowledge and trust to whoever it is you’re with and that takes patience in itself. You have to give them the space and the room to learn you, so they can love you appropriately.”
