- It’s easier to find someone with similar family values in your church, than randomly out in society.
- The church typically encourages and supports couples who want to eventually be married
Now here are some of the cons:
- Everyone will be up in your business the moment they even think you are considering dating. You will be discussed, dissected, and analyzed by many people, even if you try to maintain a modicum of privacy.
- Your every action is subject to “faith-shaming,” in which congregants will make sure to judge whether your actions and mate are holy enough for the church (something Meagan Good knows a lot about).
- Simply dating multiple people, whether in your church or outside of it, often results in negative gossip, even if you haven’t slept with anyone
It was actually kind of funny to hear these adults tell me about their informal church-dating rules such as, “never tell anyone who you’re seeing or that you’re even seeing someone until things are serious,” “try to find someone from another church,” and “never exchange numbers with people anywhere the rest of the congregation is” — or prepare to have your business in the street. But the most telling issue was simply that as much as the churches promote marriage, there aren’t enough churches doing things to encourage dating.
Now this doesn’t apply to all churches, because there are some that definitely support their single members in various ways from mixers and concerts to other unique strategies. But when it comes to dating, many of these adults feel like there is a severe lack of a support system. Some even believe there’s an underlying distrust that they can date, while simultaneously maintaining obedience to the Word.