“On average, people desired more pleasant (i.e., self-transcending, opening, and conserving emotions) and less unpleasant (i.e., negative self-enhancing) emotions than they experienced. However, there was substantial variation in discrepancy scores,” according to findings. Those variations being that “many individuals desired more pleasant emotions than they experienced, but some desired less. For instance, 11% of our sample wanted to feel less self-transcending emotions, such as love and empathy, than they actually felt.”
On the flipside, others “desired less unpleasant emotions than they experienced, but some desired more. For example, 10% of our sample wanted to feel more negative self-enhancing emotions, such as anger and hatred, than they actually felt.”
So, what are ways you can channel your distress in the right direction?
First, allow yourself to work through your emotions.
Anger is physiological, meaning it involves chemical reactions in your brain. Your amygdala, the center for emotional processing, sends a distress signal to your hypothalamus. Your hypothalamus then sends epinephrine along your autonomic nervous system through the path of the sympathetic nervous system to the adrenal glands, which starts pumping epinephrine (adrenaline) throughout your body. Your body is then ready to handle a threat, increasing your heart rate and sharpening your senses.
Stay motivated.
Once you’ve worked through your emotions, use that anger to motivate change. For example, work towards replacing the anger which initially motivated you to action with another emotion, like passion. You may be working a dead-end job. The constant let down may be motivation enough to put in the extra work to search for a new job or even go back to school to work on that dream job.
Get physical.
Exercise is a great way to reduce both acute and persistent anger. Because physical activity doesn’t have to take place in the gym, a quick walk during your lunch break, even cleaning the house can help you work towards emotional health.