the only thing that will truly help is to sit on the sidelines at the holiday functions and let other people take the lead in planning activities for the family.
Guess what. That’s totally fair. As long as it doesn’t hurt you or anyone else, do what feels right for you. Grief is physiologically draining and it often comes in waves. At one point, you’re totally ok. The next moment you could be in a place that’s totally unrecognizable. Do what feels right in order to cope.
5. Allow Happy To Happen
Those first holidays after the loss of a loved one may feel something like 95 percent terrible, and 5 percent tolerable. And that split is generous. As cliche as it sounds, it does get better. When it does, give yourself permission to revel in happiness. Allow yourself to enjoy things again. Even the stuff that your parents loved. My mom loved to laugh. She loved eggrolls. She loved us. I like to remind myself of that often. And you know what? When I do, the d-word doesn’t seem as scary.
Jasmine Browley holds an MA in journalism from Columbia College Chicago, and has contributed to Ebony, Jet and MADE Magazine among others. So, clearly, she knows some stuff. Follow her digital journey @JasmineBrowley.