person experiences as they attempt to function normally in their everyday world. What ensues is a psychological warfare, if you will, that pits people against the very person they least need to fight…themselves.
Simply look at the psychology behind the taboo:
- You’ll be viewed as crazy, weak, insane or having a mental illness
- You’ll bring embarrassment to the family name
- You’ll be placed on meds and other alternative methods
- What happens in the house stays in the house
Just “man up” - Seek God and religion rather than “the middle-aged white woman who can’t relate”
- Only Caucasians go to therapy
- Revealing the truth may get family and/or friends in trouble
- Career ramifications (e.g. it’s made clear in medicals school that doctors shouldn’t see therapists. There can’t be a history of “mental illness” while applying for residency. The same rationale applies to pilots. For professions that are extremely stressful by nature, the field wants to reduce the number of people in theory who are not “mentally strong”. Seeking therapy as a member of the military was reportable to command and could seriously affect career because personality disorders are service-disqualifying.)
Generational narratives like these continuously deter people from seeking the professional help they so desperately need. The instilled fear of therapy leads to fear of talking which leads to fear of healing. People are forced by society to internalize and resolve their problems without assistance. This lack of support and positive coping mechanisms often equate to depleted health and self-destructive behavior.
We have to eradicate the false notion that internalizing our pain or trauma makes us stronger. Contrary to popular belief, your pain shouldn’t define you. You are NOT your pain. Your pain is not a rite of passage. Because so many of us lack a true understanding of how trauma affects the mind and body, the re-victimization of trauma survivors occurs over and over again.
Conversations about mental health need to be normalized. In the age of information and transparency, we are so enamored with the physical that we lose focus on the mental and emotional because the latter two are so abstract. Trauma, depression, and pain are often invisible and intangible – and that’s the kicker – as long as you’re functioning and physically present you’re perceived to be perfectly fine.
Now let’s take a quick step back. Remember those aforementioned new episodes of melancholy? Well, receiving news of friends’ suicide attempts was the main cause. Things got so bad that they rationalized their own deaths as the cure. To think over a handful of my friends could be gone all because some foolish taboo is scary. Just scary. And all for what? Because their families didn’t want them to be