Unnamed Black Male Participant, 26, Chicago
I think there are some men who do this, but they either don’t speak loudly or consistently enough.
Example: Guy is talking about doing dirt with his boys. Some might laugh and there might be that one guy who might allude to him being unfaithful in a sarcastic or joking manner so everybody laughs it off.
I think it all plays into the idea of seeing each man as an autonomous being and not really wanting to meddle too deeply into their decision making process. There seems to be an unspoken rule of how far things can go in terms of telling another man what he should/shouldn’t do, especially when the advice is unsolicited. There may also be an inverse in some cases. There are times when it’s simply because the faithful ones enjoy living vicariously through the stories of their friends. I know some men who don’t cheat on their spouses, but thoroughly enjoy hearing the stories of their bros who live more “freely.” There’s sometimes an attitude of: “couldn’t be me, but go ahead and do you bro”.
Pierre Lewis, 34, Austin Texas
It’s called the blame game which has me divorced at the moment. If you never hold even yourself accountable you will always find yourself by yourself. Now realizing the sin of lying and cheating is the Devil’s work. Love and value self before you can love a woman.
Men, have you ever been in a situation where you saw your boy do something wrong and wanted to say something but didn’t? What kept you from saying something? Would you have wanted someone to pull you to the side? Maybe you’re the homie that does speak up. Even though your guy may or may not listen you still speak up. What propels you to still voice your opinion.
Let us know what you think (and of course we always welcome responses from the women).