take a complete inventory of your relative’s situation. Does she simply need some help with daily chores? Does she just need some company? Or does she need someone watching over her throughout the day? The answers to these questions shape the big decisions that will undoubtedly emerge in the near future.
Some of the biggest decisions involve housing. If she’s no longer able to fully take care of herself, she may need help from in-home caregivers, who may include family members. But if it’s not possible to get in-home help, she may need to move into an assisted living facility or nursing home. Or even, possibly, your house.
As part of this inventory, you’ll have to take a close look at her finances. If you are the primary caregiver, talk with your relative about giving you durable power of attorney. (Above all, don’t wait till the last minute to have the conversation about who your relative wants to manage finances if she becomes unable to do it herself.)
As her representative, you can gather her bank statements, bills, insurance policies, and other vital documents for review; otherwise, you’ll need to review them together. You may need to be added to her checking account in order to pay bills or initiate arrangements to have bills automatically paid from her account. If you need to do this, it’s a good idea to consult with an attorney or bank official first.
You should also make sure that she’s getting all of the benefits she’s entitled to, including social security, pensions, Medicare, and veteran’s benefits. A financial consultant can also help you investigate reverse mortgages and other possible ways to find extra money to pay for care so that she can remain in her home; a reverse mortgage or home equity line of credit on her home may also help pay for caregiving if she moves into your home.
In addition, if she has long-term health insurance, read the policy carefully: Some LTC insurance pays relatives for caregiving. (A social worker can be very helpful in these circumstances; the patient’s doctor may be able to give valuable advice as well.)
Make sure your relative has an