casual arrangement. Expecting emotional intimacy is a sure way to set yourself up for heartache and disappointment.
4. Limit time together. This gets you into dangerous territory! When you start to spend more time together, someone will inevitably develop feelings. It also sends mixed messages and can create an uncomfortable situation.
5. Keep your feelings in check. If you feel yourself getting emotionally invested, don’t convince yourself that he or she is feeling the same way. In fact, as soon as you notice those feelings rising without reciprocation, it may be time to re-evaluate the situation and either negotiate a change or end it altogether.
6. Be considerate. Don’t take advantage of the situation. If you suspect that your “Friend with Benefits” is developing feelings for you, do not lead them on. Initiate a discussion with them and/or end the situation immediately. Imagine how you’d feel if the shoe was on the other foot.
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7. Practice safer sex. Never take for granted the importance of safer sex. Even though you think you know and/or you may not be having sex with anyone else, it’s still important to use condoms. Consider the fact that there’s no exclusivity, you never know who else they might be having sex with. Be responsible for your sexual health.
8. Re-evaluate your situation. To ensure everyone is on the same page, it is important to re-evaluate the arrangement from time to time. If at any time you decide that the situation is no longer in your best interest, there should be an understanding that either of you can walk away or end things at any time.
Remember: It’s Called a Fling for a Reason!
Spring flings can be fun, but keep in mind it’s only a fling. If you’re trying to keep it casual, make sure that you approach the situation with a thorough understanding of the rules. Whenever it comes to any type of sexual relationship, honesty and communication are essential. You must not only be honest with yourself but also honest with the person(s) in the situation with you.
If it’s a “real relationship” that you’re looking for, do not allow yourself to do the fling thing. Do not enter into a fling hoping for a ring. You will be the only one to end up being hurt if you try to change someone’s mind or trick them into a relationship. If at any time during the fling you start to notice a change in feelings and/or behavior, it’s important to check it immediately. The best way to avoid pain and embarrassment is by being honest in your intentions and being clear about your expectations. If that does not work, then it may be best to walk away because the spring fling has flung – it’s over!
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Dr. TaMara loves nothing more than talking about sex! At the age of 13, she told her mother she wanted to be a Sex Therapist! Her passion is deeply rooted in spreading messages about healthy sexuality. Dr. TaMara is a sexologist, sex therapist, author and motivational speaker with more than 20 years of experience speaking, writing and teaching about sexuality. She travels the country helping individuals embrace and honor their sexuality. Dr. TaMara has published numerous books and articles. She is the owner of 7 to L.I.F.E. by Dr. TaMara. She is the publisher and editor-in-chief for Our Sexuality! Magazine. Follow her on Twitter, Facebook or Instagram, www.drtamaragriffin.com.#HowDareINot #ISaveLives
