new blossoms of realistic, abundant, and deep love.
Loving relationships built on friendship call for giving as much as you can, taking comfort in the knowledge that they’ve got you when you have nothing to give, and that is your best in that season of the partnership. Rest easy. This is how love grows stronger when you are together and is felt, supporting you even when you are apart.
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4. Touch: the connecting sense
The quality of a love relationship is not marked by epic lovemaking or the variety and quantity of sexual positions. If you have built a strong and deep foundation, the quality of long-term love is expressed by simple kindnesses, gestures, and expressions. For example, a loving touch from your beloved can still give you goosebumps and keep the home fires burning.
Of all the senses, this one, touch, the definition of physical, requires that you reach out and take a risk to ignite the emotions. Caring about someone is important, but reaching out and putting yourself out there is risky. Touching and squeezing your loved one’s hand when tones are escalating to hostility; walking hand in hand; or even sitting close together on the sofa watching TV: these moments preserve your connection and keep the peace. It’s harder to stay mad when touch connects you.
You also have an easier time growing in the same direction together and staying in love. It symbolizes the unit you both are working to become. It reminds you of the importance of staying connected through conversation, cuddling, nights out, staying in, and genuinely caring. Touch joins you physically, but also emotionally, and spiritually.
5. Say grace together
This is not a religious thing. This is about gratitude. If you say grace before your meal, even if you don’t pray or barely (if at all) believe in a Higher Power, giving thanks for what you’ve got opens you up to the spiritual aspect of Thanksgiving. This other truly remarkable person and you are breaking bread; for this you are grateful. This person is more than you ever hoped for and puts you in reverent touch with how much your gratitude extends beyond the meal for this gift. Saying grace in the presence of one another is an opportunity to acknowledge the blessing of moving from the unique strength of one individual to the power of a united two as a couple.
You appreciate one another. You can now choose love and express it healthily. You can reflect even further and recognize the miracle that it took to bring you two together and the sacred paired with hard work and creativity that is needed to keep you together moment by moment and day by day. An overwhelming joy for this mystery is natural.
Be confident in your skills to partner better but remain humble; it still takes two. You are on the right path. You are comfortable being together in silence in public or communicating in private. Sharing a meal, a kiss, or sharing a life: all are worthy endeavors. Checking in or catching up, engaging in conversation about each other’s day is not a waste of time. It is a calling to keep in constant communication about all things great and small.
Saying grace does all of this and more. It breaks down barriers to love by acknowledging something greater, then trickling down to an appreciation of the great things in life. Just as you celebrate, honor and nourish your body with food, the nourishment of the spirit must also be satisfied. This is as crucial as the sensuous: those things experienced by and through the senses. Life without this person is no longer an option for your future. You ponder the good and the bad of this partnership, then you realize: there is no secret to enduring love later in life; you do it right and better simply by loving.