unforeseen tragedies you’ve experienced. How did you get to this point of acceptance and candidness?
RR: It was less of somewhere I got to and more of what I needed to ensure my own survival. I have always been an honest, open person and my healing required the same elements. I needed to express my pain and exorcise my sorrow by naming it and putting it into words. We are so often socialized to suffer in silence.
To keep our wounds to ourselves, and this does great harm both on an individual and collective level. The more we can get comfortable with our own discomfort, the more we can lean into our own vulnerability and be claiming whatever we’ve been through, the more likely we are to find our own healing and to be equipped to show up for ourselves and others.
BDO: As a certified wellness and grief coach, what would you suggest are the first steps to healing after a loss?
RR: As convenient as it would be there is no “one-size fits all” when it comes to healing. We are all unique beings with individual needs, perspectives and experiences. With that in mind, one of the most helpful things we can do to begin to heal our own heart is to acquaint ourselves with our deepest needs and desires, so we can start to learn what it is that will most be of service to and for us.
There are many ways to do this but I find mindfulness is the most efficient way. Whether it is meditation or simply partaking in an activity that brings us home to ourselves in some way – anything from working out, cooking, journaling, dancing, drawing, sitting in silence, something that allows you to reside in the present moment and start to answer “what is it my heart most needs right now?”.
And once we’ve found the courage to actually ask the question and create space for the answer, doing our best to listen to the answer and get proactive about heeding to whatever it is that arose. For many of us, time, space, boundaries, allowing ourselves to