schedule time and develop realistic goals. Little by little, you work toward getting back to the physical function you enjoyed before. Medications and devices may also help and are nothing to be upset or ashamed about.
Step Three: Making time.
Put time for intimate moments on your calendar, or develop a tradition of kindling intimacy on certain nights. Yes, you can also still enjoy as much spontaneous intimacy as you like, but set a minimum of at least twice a week for intimate play, but not necessarily sex. If you have sex, that’s great, but that isn’t the point, so you haven’t failed if you don’t have sex. The point is to rebuild intimacy into your partnership by using time and cooperation as your tools. Sex is a great way to achieve intimacy, but it isn’t the only one, and there are a lot of kinds of sex. Succeed at intimacy together and celebrate that victory. Rejoice in closeness and talk about it. There is no stress because you can’t fail at intimacy. As you progress through rehabilitation, you may need health-care professionals who support you. Consider turning to doctors who can talk with you openly about the subject, without making you feel uncomfortable.
Step Four: Personalize your plan.
Many options are available for you to discuss with your physician, including little blue pills, vaginal dilators, pumps, injections and all kinds of creams. It might sound like these options would suck the intimacy right out of a sexual encounter, but not if you and your partner set a foundation of strong and frequent intimacy. Building that foundation will make medical interventions around sexual function an experience you both share.
The couples who rehabilitate intimacy together are the couples with a good shot at having great sex. Perhaps even more importantly, they’re also the ones who more often describe the results as truly great sex.
