race or gender. Taking the world’s faults and problems as personal burdens is a huge block to thriving unapologetically.
Without a strong collective force, surface harm can strike deep and divide us, then easily conquer us. This occurs in many ways: by media images; by earning less income than others who in all other ways are equal; by colorist comments, despite our diverse skin tones and range of hair textures; by being negative in the way we talk and are talked about; and by choosing to spend more and own less. And it is for this that we suffer, separate and ashamed, with psycho-therapy as a last resort after a series of failed hit-or-miss relationships; (un)happy hours; a baker’s dozen of cupcakes, a pint of your favorite gourmet ice cream; and not budgeted, credit card-funded, quadruple-digit, retail therapy don’t do the trick.
Despite this social history version of the twenty-first century Black woman’s have it all and be all things manifesto, I thrive. Will too much stress and too short of a health span be our legacy? I have too many scars from vulnerabilities laid bare. Once shared, if followed by pain, I regret the new wounds afterward.
Yet I do see myself as a Black woman thriving unapologetically. But for how long? Is that she in me in danger of becoming extinct? Will I run out of redefined second lives needed for being a cultural chameleon? I am confident, not proud. I am intelligent, not arrogant. I am educated, not trying to be White. I am talented, not a token. I declare that I will not settle for surviving for all these reasons and as many others go unspoken yet understood. I am who I am, for better and for worse, without apology for my story, my truth, or my definition of success and my version of excellence.