Unhappiness in relationships can stem from many things: a lack of communication, finances, jealousy and infidelity just to name a few. But, at the root of that discord is ultimately a difference in how we love one another as well as what we expect in return. In other words, according to Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, we each speak different love languages.
Let’s take a look at what defines each of the 5 love languages and how to apply them to your everyday life.
1. Words of affirmation: Uses words to affirm other people.
Verbal acknowledgment, compliments, or even words of appreciation (face-to-face) delivered in a straightforward statement go a long way.
“That dress hugs you in all the right places.”
You May Also Like
“You make me feel safe.”
“I love how you always…”
RELATED: Love Language Test: What’s Your (Or Your Partner’s) Love Language?
2. Acts of service: When actions speak louder than words.
For example, your wife has had a long day of wrangling the children, working from home, and doing homework. An example of an “act” would be to make dinner and/or do the dishes (because what is one without the other).
A true act of service will require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If done with a positive spirit, they are powerful communicators of love.
You May Also Like
3. Receiving gifts: To this person, nothing makes them feel special like receiving a well-thought-out gift.
While all five love languages require us to give of ourselves to our partners, gift-giving requires a visible show of love. In other words, it is something you can hold in your hand and say, “He/She was thinking of me.”
*Side note: The thought behind the gift is more important than the money spent.
4. Quality time: Time well spent is the most important.
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. No, that does not mean Netflix and chill. When you eat up time binge-watching "The Walking Dead", HBO has your attention, not your loved one.
Make ample use of your time by putting your devices to the side and/or turning off the television. If your partner’s primary love language is a little QT, he/she simply wants you.
5. Physical touch: For some, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.
To this individual, physical touch is the primary way they feel emotionally filled. Without it, they may feel unloved. Whether it be holding hands, kissing, embracing, or sexual intimacy, communicating emotion by way of implicit loving touches is the only way to make them feel secure in their relationship.
Not sure which love language applies to you? Take the assessment here to begin improving your relationships.
