25 To Life: Marriage Tips From Couples Who Have Been Married Over 25 Years

Senior African woman kissing husband on cheekCan we agree that all advice isn’t good advice? Sometimes your friends want to tell you how to do something even if they haven’t been through it (*shaking my head*).

So, instead of boring you with tips that are just theories, here are some marriage and relationship tips from couples have been married for at least 25 years or more.

1. Don’t Go to Bed Angry
Even if you can’t resolve a disagreement before you hit the sheets, you can agree to let the anger go for the night. Remind each other how lucky you are — even as you disagree — to have each other to disagree with.

2. Give Compliments
To give a compliment, you’ve got to pay attention — really notice something about someone. If it’s been a while since you’ve doled out flattering praise, try it. It costs nothing to say, “You look good,” “You did a great job,” or “I like your shirt.” Yet compliments can really reassure and pump up your spouse.

3. Hold Hands
Back in our parents’ time, hand-holding and discreet pecks on the cheek were the tasteful, chaste displays of affection.
Although anything goes these days, its encouraged that couples simply hold hands in public. It somehow affirms to everyone your undying affection and love for each other, and it shows everyone that you are proud to be with each other and you want everyone to know it. There’s an actual electrical connection that passes between us when we touch. You can use that electrical connection to provide juice in your marriage. Give each other little pats and gentle touches and hold hands frequently when you’re walking or driving and you’ll keep the energy — and the sweetness — flowing between you.

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4. Be a Little Old-Fashioned
Once you are in love, ask questions like: Is this person likely to be a good provider? Can they manage money? Are they likely to be a good parent? Because marriage is a financial arrangement in addition to a love one and one in which your economic future is entwined with somebody else’s. And as one husband eloquently said, “Making love is so much better when the bills are paid!”

5. Observe Your Partner While Playing A Game
Watching someone play a game is “extremely diagnostic.” You get a chance to observe how someone behaves under stress, whether they’re honest and how they handle defeat. Small things can tell you very big things about a couple’s suitability.

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6. Do a Sense of Humor Check
Observe what makes your partner laugh. If he thinks a whoopee cushion is funny and you don’t, it certainly won’t get funnier for you 30 years from now. It’s a simple test of whether your world views align.

7. Cut Back on Complaints
Yesteryear’s couples had a comic reputation for nagging — yet, in truth, many partners often held their tongues. A stumbling block in modern marriages is a constant soundtrack of discord. Current generations think that closeness comes from sharing everything, letting each other know how miserable you are. But it doesn’t motivate me to treat you better. Relaying every annoyance is a bad idea. Instead, pick your battles. “Not everything needs to be addressed.”