Self esteem reflects your overall emotional evaluation of your own worth. Low self esteem results from a lack of seeing your worth, or seeing anything good in your self. It can result from seeing yourself in the light of your weaknesses and not acknowledging your strengths.
The following will help you defeat low self esteem:
1.Realize that your battle is in your mind.
If you win the battle in your mind, you are set! Do not accept all the negative thoughts about yourself that may flood your mind. The truth is, you are not that bad. When those negative thoughts about how awful you are come up, cast them down. Learn to change wrong narratives that may be in your head. The Bible says you are fearfully and wonderfully made. God made you for a reason and no matter what you have gone through, your experiences do not define you as a person. Read uplifting books. Listen to motivational teachings. God made you and God is always right. God did not make a bad product.
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2. Watch your associations.
Are your friends people who do not see the good in anything, let alone themselves, or you? Well, it is time to make new ones. Are you in an abusive relationship? Seek help and get out! Do your friends put you down? Then they do not deserve to be your friends. Do your parents tell you that you will never amount to anything? Do not internalize that message; do not let it sink into your heart (this is where the scriptures help). Start to associate with people who will lift you up. I am not talking about surrounding yourself with flatterers or “yes-men.” I am talking about true friends who see you for who you are and still see the good in you. Your associations can make or break you.
3. Practice self care.
If you suffer with low self esteem chances are that you have neglected yourself in some way somewhere along the line. Take care of your health, exercise, eat right, and lose weight if you need to. Take a class that interests you. Develop some new hobbies. Go out and visit new places. If you are overwhelmed in life, try to squeeze in a vacation. Get some new clothes (they do not have to break the bank). It is vital that you make self care part of your whole life. When you look good, you feel good. Taking care of your body helps you look good.
4. Be mindful of what you say.
Watch your mouth! No more self-deprecating fat jokes ("I just look at food and get fat"); no more poor jokes ("I am so broke I cannot even pay attention"); no more dumb jokes ("I am such an idiot"). Call those things that are not as though they are! Say what you want to see in your life: "I am God’s product and God is not wrong"; "My metabolism works great"; "I am smart"; "I call myself rich according to the Word of God"; "I shall never be broke"; "I don’t desire to eat so much"; "I esteem myself as God esteems me"; etc, etc, etc. If you have to write down a daily confession of faith or affirmation, do it. Low self esteem is not humility; it is humiliation.
5. Learn to love YOU.
Accept the love of God; learn to love yourself. Yes, you may have issues but who doesn’t? Only when you love yourself, through accepting God’s love, will you have the strength to change whatever behavior or habit it is about yourself that you do not like. There is no one better you than you, so, love you. Loving yourself does not mean that you hate others or become arrogant. You are God’s child. God loves you, so, love yourself.
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6. Help somebody out.
When you make strides, help other people with their struggles. Chances are that as you focus on other people you will focus on yourself less. Helping another person will also help you feel better about yourself as you bring solutions to your world. As you help others, God will cause help to come your way in various forms. Remember, deeds are seeds.
7. Seek counseling.
If you are depressed or in over your head, seek help from a trusted friend, a pastor, counselor, life coach, doctor, or someone who has been there before. As a child of God, you do not have to struggle alone.
Are you a parent who has battled low self-esteem and wants to help your children avoid these pitfalls? Go to bit.do/yatby to download You Are The Best You, a children’s book designed to teach our kids to love themselves for who they are.
Shola Ezeokoli is medical doctor, a life coach a two time Amazon No 1 bestselling author and a public speaker. Shola works with purposeful women, helping them get liberated from survival mode and truly live the life that they want to live. Her coaching niche is Balanced Living and this is based on the five pillars of balance: Physical, Emotional, Relational, Mental, and Spiritual. She does this through her program called Discover, Balance, Activate. She has written three books, His Delight, Shoetry and You Are The Best You (which has a companion Workbook). She has a fourth book which she co-wrote with her husband, Staying Married: 7 Key Strategies You Cannot Do Without. She blogs at sholashade.com on matters related to balanced living.
