able to tell when the time is right.”
It makes sense to wait until you feel a real connection with someone before revealing something so personal, but you don’t want to wait so long that your partner thinks you were hiding it.
Already in a Relationship?
For those already in a relationship, the question of how an MS diagnosis can affect the relationship may be raised. There are many unknowns like how it will affect your ability to work, travel, and start a family. You may also begin to worry about how it will affect finances and your sex life.
A diagnosis will be scary for the patient, but it may also be pretty scary for your partner. It’s a major adjustment and some will show undying love and support, while others may not be able to handle it.
Losing a relationship to a disease that already takes so much from you can be heartbreaking, but ultimately, Fiol says, you deserve to be with someone who will support you no matter what.
Catherine Weston, a 25-year-old marketing manager in Richmond, Virginia, was friends with her long-term partner before they got romantically involved, so he was aware of her MS. Even so, he hadn’t seen the truly difficult aspects of her disease until they started dating, she says.
“Often,” says Weston, before a relationship has gotten serious, “they have only seen you at your best. They don’t get the harder, nitty-gritty times when you can barely get out of bed or have intense mood swings or need to isolate yourself to just cool down from the world.”
Now in a committed relationship, she recognizes, “It’s hard for us who have MS, but it’s also tough on our partners, who stand by us through everything.”
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Getting Physical
At some point, you may decide to take things to the next level. Whether you’re with a new partner or you’ve been in a long-term relationship, MS does add another set of complications.
Some known symptoms of MS include pain, tingling, numbness, or hypersensitivity. This can affect genital sensation and sexual desire. For women, vaginal dryness may be experienced. Men may have difficulty achieving erections. For both, a decreased frequency or intensity of orgasms may be experienced. Fatigue and mood changes also have an impact on sexual desire.
There are fixes for many of these issues though, says Fiol. For example, if fatigue is a frequent problem, she suggests being intimate earlier, when you have more energy, rather than waiting for the end of a date. “It can take the pressure off, and then you can have a relaxing date night,” she says.
Medications can address many physical complaints. Using pillows strategically or varying positions can help too.