My Story: “Plus Size Women Are Tired Of Being The Butt Of Jokes In Society”

…benefits of being in a relationship with a plus-sized woman should not be minimalized to a list of six generalizations that may be true for a few, but not all.

Listen, I am a plus-sized stand-up comedian. I have a sense of humor and I am not easily offended at all. At the same time, I know that the topic of size is a “weighty issue” and should be handled with lots of love, care and sensitivity. Who hasn’t seen some male comic on stage saying, “The best thing about having sex with a big girl is no matter what part of her body you grab, it feels like a titty!”?

Yep, in 2014 that hack joke is still told on stage and I think that all plus size women are tired of being the butt of jokes in society, especially when those jokes focus on what’s good about us…as if loving us is a case that needs to be pleaded in the court of public opinion. If so it’s too late because too many men are already “guilty” of the pleasure of loving plus-sized women!

In my article “Fat Girls Are a Man’s Best Friend” for The Frisky I wrote about how sometimes being a confident plus size woman can be a gift and a curse. I’ve found that over the years there have been men who put me in the “friend zone” purely because of my size. At the same time I have had situations when my weight led to me being overly sexualized by men, almost pushed to a fetish level.

Luckily, more often than not I find that men love me for ME. Women that are plus sized have healthy relationships with men who adore every inch of them. For every guy that does not find a “big girl” attractive, there are two more than love “big girls”.  And who knows, maybe there are men who would agree with the six benefits that were in the article. I would argue that there are hundreds of reasons that men prefer to date larger women, and maybe we should start to explore some of the real reasons and celebrate it, instead of making light of the situation.

READ: My Story: “Dangerously In Love And Almost Had A Stroke At 24”

In the media “big girls” are either an asexual “mammy” who serves as a voice of reason for her skinny counterpart, or a sex deprived thirsty woman who spends her days chasing after a man that doesn’t want her.  But in the real world we are multi-dimensional women who love and are loved by many. Lists that talk about the benefits of dating a woman like me tend to focus on stereotypical notions that underplay the true issue, which is: American society is extremely uncomfortable with Black female sexuality especially when it comes in a plus sized body.  

So here is what I think are 6 benefits of dating a “big girl” or any woman for that matter who is worth her weight…in gold, no matter what her size.

  1. They Are Beautiful & Voluptuous
  2. They Are Loving
  3. They Are Loyal
  4. They Are Sexy
  5. They are Confident
  6. They are Strong

Erica Watson is an actor, stand-up comedian, writer, blogger for Huffington Post and film/television director. Visit her website at

**Editors Note**: The article has been removed.