We live in an instant world where everything is expected in the blink of an eye: Instant messages, instant coffee and microwavable food ready in a matter of minutes. As the nature of society has become rushed, so have our personal activities including those within the bedroom.
Sex for many has become nothing more than a bumping of bodies in order to satisfy the sexual urges of one or both partners, and as a result, intimacy and affection are often left out of the equation. Sex is more than just two bodies moving feverishly to reach an orgasm. This time of pairing is all about energy exchange, and when two are joined as one the energy created is magical. Sex with no attachments is left up to the purveyors of the free spirited and non-committers, but for the happily committed couple intimacy should be at the core of a sexual relationship.
Rough sex, kink play and various forms of sexual expression that are fueled by aggression are perfectly healthy ways to become involved in erotic play, but the element of gentleness coupled with adoration is important to maintain a healthy sexual balance. It seems that many have lost the ability to show affection towards their beloved partners, but just as anything else in life the art of affection can be taught and adopted once again.
It’s all in your touch.
A simple touch is all you need to convey messages that your mouth speaks. Using various hand strokes across your lover’s body can increase arousal state from resting to rising. By using massage and light-to-firm pressured caresses across erogenous zones, you can show your lover you are present in the moment and ready to connect intimately. Take the time before going into intercourse to explore your partner’s body with your hands and with your lips. Place the intention of adoration, love and tenderness in each brush of your hand or swipe of your lips. When you truly adore your mate the energy will be transferred through your touch and the affection will be felt.
Eye contact is everything.
The eyes say what the mind and heart are thinking, and when one engages with the eyes of another their souls are connected. What better way to show your partner how much you care for them than to look them deeply in their eyes while in moments of foreplay. Making eye contact deepens intimacy and establishes a bond of trust between lovers. Sit or lay face to face, exchange words of adoration and appreciation and maintain your eye contact as you show affection to one another.
Place passion behind everything you do.
A passionate kiss is distinctively different than one used as a greeting or farewell bidding. Kiss your lover holding love and desire in your heart and mind and place passion in every touch. Your sexual experience will go from humping to love making, creating deeper intimacy and feelings of love. The more passion you can put into your erotic playtime, the more dopamine and serotonin (your body's "love" chemicals) can flow to deepen bonding.
Affection isn’t hard to give. If you keep your mind focused on the love you have for your partner and their satisfaction the art of being tender and loving will be easy to accomplish.
Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi and the all-new “Glamazon Tyomi’s Sex Academy” radio show here.
