Losing something you value causes pain, but there are various sorts of grieving beyond the death of a loved one.
When someone, place, pet, or item you care about leaves your life, you may feel loss. This emptiness causes regret and loss for what was.
While tiered models of sorrow help us comprehend the notion, there's no incorrect way to handle any loss.
Abrupt Grief
Abrupt grief is typical grief caused by rapid or unexpected losses. Spanaway, Washington-based licensed marital and family therapist associate and certified grief counselor Simone Koger says this form of sadness may be caused by:
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- Job loss
- Death
- Relationship breakup
- Any other form of loss that comes as a shock
How To Manage
Abrupt grief, or traumatic grieving, may occur anytime, anyplace. It's OK to take a break and feel your unexpected feelings. Take a break before driving to digest the facts.
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Prolonged Grief
Any long-term grief is prolonged. Interference with everyday living may lead to extended grieving disorder, also known as complex sorrow if it considerably inhibits critical areas of function. The DSM-5-TR defines chronic grieving disorder as deep desire and obsession with loss, thoughts or memories.
Research from 2021 indicates that this condition is associated with anxiety and depression-related avoidance behaviors. According to Jerry Kiesling, a master of social work and licensed clinical social worker in Colombia, Missouri, profound grieving may endure months and cause melancholy or anxiety, making it difficult to enjoy activities with others.
How To Manage
A mental health expert may help resolve chronic grieving. Prolonged grief-specific cognitive behavioral therapy (PG-CBT) helps minimize grief-related thought avoidance and enables you to process sorrow without anxiety, anger, or guilt.
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Absent Grief
The lack of sadness after a tragic loss is also grief. According to Heather Wilson, a certified clinical social worker from Blackwood, New Jersey, absent mourning may result from shock, denial, or detachment, preventing grieving.
"This may happen if the death is abrupt or traumatic," she explains. "Denial is a big component to this form of grief."
How To Manage
If you are in denial, you may persuade yourself that you don't need assistance with grieving. You may not want to face grief's absence.
If relatives and friends are pressing you to speak to someone or are worried about your mourning process, it may be worth seeking professional help.
Delayed Grief
As the weight of a loss becomes palpable, delayed sorrow may emerge from the shadows. "This may be a normal mourning cycle for some," adds Koger. Sometimes, it's hard to realize that a person, relationship, pet, location, or object is gone.
How To Manage
Delayed sorrow may process naturally without help. If you feel bottled up or "stuck" in this stage, Koger advises making tiny efforts to accept loss, such as visiting a spot you used to frequent with that person.
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Disenfranchised Grief
Loss is hard enough without social shame, but alienated grieving may worsen it. "This is a grieving category I personally don't believe is emphasized enough," Koger says. It's when society or culture doesn't accept your loss. Lack of understanding or education on suicide, drug abuse, STDs, quitting a religious faith, and other issues may cause this.
How To Manage
You can discover support networks that understand your loss and respect your experience, even if you cannot alter your culture or civilization that causes disenfranchised anguish.
Start by talking to a mental health professional. A therapist may help you find grief-validating support. Education and understanding of taboo issues may also assist with this grieving.
Collective Grief
Sometimes, loss affects a country, people, culture, or the planet. This community-level sadness is communal grief. It's frequent after war, mass killings, hate crimes, and human rights atrocities.
How To Manage
Coming together in groups may be a wonderful approach to working through collective mourning with others experiencing the experience. Vigils, memorials, peaceful protests, marches, and ceremonies allow you to express grief.
Activism may help you cope with communal sorrow after hate crimes or human rights abuses by giving you purpose and justice.
Climate Grief
Climate and ecological grieving refer to a feeling of loss relating to the environment, frequently used interchangeably.
As ecosystems decrease and natural resources are gone, environmental awareness may lead to a feeling of loss.
Nostalgia, or climate sadness, may also make you desire "the good old days" when the environment was less influenced.
How To Manage
Changing the environment may take centuries, but recycling, revival, and environmental knowledge may help reduce sorrow.
Secondary Loss Grief
The death of a loved one may induce grief, but so can losing friends or relatives due to divorce or death. According to Longmont, Colorado licensed clinical social worker Hope Weiss, this is secondary loss.
How To Manage
No one has to validate your sadness. It's appropriate to mourn for people, places, and things that weren't part of your daily life and the subtle changes that accompany a main loss.
Grief may be expressed without judgment through journaling or talking to a mental health professional.
Anticipatory Grief
When you know you'll lose something essential, you may grieve before you do.
Anticipatory sadness may arise in circumstances such as long-term sickness, long-term divorce, and situations where the conclusion is predictable.
How To Manage
Talking about sorrow is never too early. Early mental health care may help you handle long-term sorrow and prepare for loss.
Tips To Cope With Grief
While certain forms of grieving react to environmental activity, there are broad techniques to handle all sadness.
Honoring Your Loss
Honoring your loss might provide closure and serenity. Kiesling suggests picking a meaningful memento or habit.
Many individuals pick a body-worn sign. He mentions jewelry, beloved items, favorite restaurants, etc. You may wish to try something that an individual did every day. Some people pray, sip a drink the person likes, or sit in a quiet location to remember them.
Journaling
Expressing sorrow, particularly to others, may be difficult or unpleasant. Consider journaling to help you process your emotions.
"Just as a friend, family member, or therapist may see what individuals are feeling in their sorrow, so can people witness to themselves," adds Weiss.
Setting & Keeping Boundaries
Koger thinks boundaries avoid overload and helps grievers cope. Example: having a breakup on social media. You may mute or deactivate your account to avoid thinking about them, intensifying your grief."
Grief Resources
Contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for mental health support during mourning to talk with a professional representative.
Additional grieving resources are available:
- Treatment/services locator
- SAMHSA's tips for coping with grief after a disaster or traumatic event
- The Center for Complicated Grief
- helping children cope with emergencies
- Center for Grief Recovery and Therapeutic Services
For urgent assistance, phone 911 for medical assistance or 988 for suicide or mental health crisis support.
