By now, we’ve all witnessed the rise of the “soft girl” era, the viral trend that prioritizes self-care, femininity, and women taking a more gentle approach to life. While the trend has resonated with many, it has also left some moms feeling overwhelmed or left out due to their demanding responsibilities. With these tips (and a little tweaking), even the busiest of moms can live the soft life too. This one’s for you, mama.
Plan Ahead
“If you stay ready, you won’t have to get ready” is true for the most part. Motherhood is extremely time-consuming, and the world will not grant you peace simply because you decided to have children. So if you want to live a softer life, you have to plan for it. Here are some ways to make room for the life you want:
- Organize your day with digital calendars and planners to schedule activities, meet deadlines, and keep track of appointments. It’s a lot easier to minimize last-minute chaos with a plan in motion.
- Start the night before. Mornings are hectic! If you spend a few minutes each evening preparing for the next day (e.g., laying out clothes, packing lunches, and organizing bags), you’ll take some stress out of the morning rush.
- Plan your meals in advance. Create a menu that includes a variety of nutritious and easy-prep meals. Consider batch-cooking on the weekends and freezing meals for busy weekdays. This way, you’ve saved yourself a good bit of time, and the fam can still eat well.
- Budget wisely to ensure you have funds for self-care needs, living expenses, and debt repayment plans. Outline your savings goals and know exactly what you’re working with to reduce as much financial stress as possible.
- Have an emergency plan in place for unexpected situations. This includes knowing what to do in case of illness, accident, or other crises. Share this plan with your family so that everyone is informed and on board.
Set Realistic Goals
Busy moms often find themselves striving for perfection in every aspect, especially since they’ve got little ones looking up to them. But perfection is an unattainable goal that only leaves you feeling left behind. Instead, set realistic goals that align with your priorities and let go of the pressure to meet every societal expectation. Here are some ways to do so:
Make your goals specific and measurable. Instead of saying, "I want to be a better mom," specify what that means to you. For example, "I want to spend at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted quality time with my children every day." This makes your progress easier to track.
Learn to say no. A mom has got to know her limits. Don't overcommit to too many activities or obligations. Learn to say no when necessary to maintain a softer life and avoid burnout. You are not an octopus.
Limit comparisons: One of the worst things you can do for your mental health is to compare your journey to other moms. Social media and external influences can create unrealistic expectations since people only show us what they want us to see (often only the good parts).
Your soft mom journey is yours.
RELATED: Black Women, It’s Time To Step Into Your Soft Era
Ask for Help
Motherhood is even more of a challenge when trying to do everything on your own. Communicate by telling your tribe exactly what you need, and remember that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Join a support group, seek assistance from a partner, hire a babysitter, or use professional services like delivery, etc.
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Allowing others to share the load can free up your time and energy, allowing you to live a softer, more enjoyable life.
Delegate Age-Appropriate Chores to Kids
Sometimes your peace of mind can be found right under the same roof. Teaching your children the value of teamwork can be both educational and a helpful way to lighten your load. A great way to do this is with technology. Kids are always on their devices, so you can use technology to help with assigning tasks and syncing scheduled routines. Create daily/weekly to-do lists to assign chores like dishes, laundry, etc. to teach them responsibility and give them more time to focus on other things. You know—soft girl things.
Take Advantage of Your Free Time
As a busy mom, free time may seem scarce, but you gotta make the most of it when you get it. Use this opportunity to engage in activities that bring you joy or relaxation. Whether it's indulging in a hobby, going for a walk, or trying a new restaurant, seizing these moments can help you live a softer life in the midst of all the commotion.
Be Kind to Yourself
It’s easy to be critical of yourself, feeling like you should always do more or be better, but remember that it's normal to encounter obstacles, especially when you have the most demanding job on the planet—motherhood. Setbacks do not define your worth or abilities as a mom, so be kind to yourself and acknowledge your accomplishments, no matter how small they may seem.
Keep these tips as a reminder that motherhood doesn't exclude you from living the soft, nurturing life you deserve. And when it comes to these trends, mamas don't play by the rules; they make their own.
