BlackDoctor.org: How can you be supportive in their recovery?
Dr. Ashe: It’s important to have patience as well as realistic expectations. Those who struggle with addiction need to move at their own pace and not feel overwhelmed. Support also involves being sensitive to their needs and not encouraging bad habits. In other words, do not take your loved one who suffers from alcoholism to the bar.
Brown:
- Attend a 12 Step fellowship meeting at least once with the family member to get an understanding of what the recovery process will be like for the person in recovery.
- If the loved one is going through inpatient or outpatient treatment visit and participate in any groups you are invited to.
- Don’t get upset if the patient/client does not sign consent for you to call his/her program. Give them time to adjust to treatment. Sometimes there are things they just don’t feel comfortable revealing to you. Bottom line, remember the important thing is that the loved one is getting help.
- Learn as much as you can about the drug of choice your loved one used and what mental and physical symptoms to expect. Best way to do this is to ask treatment providers your loved one is working with and you can visit http://www.samhsa.gov. This is a great resource for families, clients and people working in the field.
- Don’t expect perfection! Families want their loved one back without the alcohol and drugs but have a hard time excepting that as the recovering person goes through the process there will be change as he/she works on relapse prevention. This sometimes means establishing new boundaries with the family, which is challenging for all.
- Get help for yourself by connecting with other families. Alanon is a great support group regardless if your loved one used alcohol or drugs. Tough love is hard to learn and follow through on your own.
- Be receptive to family therapy if it is offered and you can inquire yourself.
- Be patient! There is a saying in recovery groups, “give time, time.” Your loved one did not become an alcoholic or addict over night the recovery journey does not make it all go away overnight.