Getting There: 7 Ways To Have Stronger Orgasms

African American Black woman laying in bed underwear

I was recently asked by a national print publication about my thoughts about sexual intimacy and intensifying orgasms and I wanted to share a few tips with you to help you “get there,” whether you’re with your significant other or by yourself.

Too often, we become so fixated on having a mind blowing, earth shattering, toe-curling orgasm that we forget how nice it can be to be teased, touched, enticed, caressed, taken, enthralled, and compelled sexually.

Sure, chandelier-hanging sex “til the cops come knockin” is cool, but for many people, the challenge of reaching orgasmic ecstasy remains elusive.

Here are a few tips that you may want to consider:

1. Be present. Be “in the moment” and try not to think about work, kids, bills, or the challenges of life.  Focus on what feels pleasurable for you. One way to do this is to set the mood: maybe your thing is candles, incense or music. Whatever it is you need to get your mind right, do it.

2. Be patient. Trying to rush your climax may only delay it from happening. It’s going to happen if you let it. Give yourself as much time as you want to enjoy being sexy for yourself and/or for your partner.

3. Use a friction position. A friction position may help you have an orgasm during intercourse. Get on top, for example, so the top of your clitoris is rubbing directly on your partner’s pubic bone. Or lay on your back with a pillow underneath your butt.

4. Use “those” muscles. Kegels are the classic exercise for women who want to transform feeble orgasms into fabulous ones. Locate these muscles in your pelvic floor by stopping yourself from peeing midstream. Then…