Dating people your own age is old news! Women are dating guys 15-25 years older than them more than ever these days. I mean look at Jay-z and Beyonce for crying out loud or even Kylie and Tyga (okay maybe I took it too far!). And yes, I am guilty of it. I have dated older men in my past, and I'd have to say it is quite a different experience than dating in your own age group. As if relationships don't already come with their own set of ups and downs, if you've ever dated someone 10 years or more older than you, you probably experienced some of the best and worst times of your life with that person. I guess it's truly all about whatever floats your boat, but there are some benefits and downfalls to it either way.
Pros
1. Stability
Seems like the most logical reason to date an older man, right? Most people assume you are dating an older man ONLY for that reason. The fact of the matter is most older men have their "ish" together! But that doesn't mean that every young lady who likes an older gent is a gold digger. In fact, there are studies that suggest differently. Accoring to the University of Dundee in Scotland, "as women become more financially independent, their taste may skew toward older (and better-looking) men." Most women love the thought of stability. Being with a man that is well off or just more financially responsible is comforting, especially when you are planning out your future.
MUST READ: Black Power Couples: 5 Things They Do Right
You May Also Like
2. No More Games
There is nothing worse than having to play the dating games that you do in your teens and 20s. Thankfully most older men don't have the patience for this either. Say goodbye to ever having to wonder if you text your guy back too fast, which of course in turn makes you look desperate...right!? Truth is he is probably just annoyed by the idea of jumping through those hoops as you are. Even better, most older men are done with the mind games. They know what they want and you don't have to guess to figure it out. No more wondering four months into your "situation" if this is going anywhere!
3. Confidence 'ON FLEEK'
You May Also Like
You ever go out knowing you look good, just to feel like nobody is trying to approach you? Well simply put, younger guys are easily intimidated by a beautiful, classy woman. Young guys are still building up their tough skin for rejection, so they are less likely to try and approach you, and if they do and you turn them down, they are even more less likely to try again. An older man has more experience with this. He doesn't sweat the rejection, and in many cases he likes the challenge of trying to win you over and change your mind.
4. Knowlege
I cannot tell you enough how refreshing it can be to date a man who can actually teach you a thing or two, who can guide you in the right direction, who can bring you back to reality when you are spinning out of control. Dating older men is just like that. They can be your tour guide through the parts of life you have yet to see. I often have felt when I date men in my age group that I am the one leading the way. I end up feeling like a mother instead of a girlfriend. It's nice to be able to take a position in the other seat every now and then.
5. Kiss Jealousy Goodbye
You know that confidence I was just talking about? Well it helps out a lot in the relationship as well. A grown mature man respects that you have a life outside of your relationship, and not only is comfortable with it, supports it. No more feeling bad about wanting to hangout with your girlfriends. No more feeling uneasy about spending time with your family without him. Things are just easier when you have someone who understands that you aren't attached at the hip now that you've agreed to a commitment.
Cons
1. Awkward Encounters
So pretty much everyone you come in contact with is going to give you looks and stares, and your friends and family are going to bombard you with what will seem like a never ending list of questions about how you met. You will often feel like you are on trial, and end up feeling obligated to defend yourself towards people and their misconceptions, assumptions and opinions.
MUST READ: Black Infertility: Facts Every Couple Should Know
2. Parents Won't Approve
Depending on what point in your life you decide to deep dive into a relationship with a man twice your age, it may be hard to take him home to mom and dad (yikes!). Parents can be pretty hard to impress when it comes to who you date, but when you add 10 or more years to their age it changes the introduction conversation completely.
3. He's Settled
Older men tend to have already settled their roots and are happy with where they are. As a young woman you may be ready to take life by the horns, live a little, and go with the flow. When your big career opportunity knocks on the door and it's half way across the country, or around the globe even, don't expect him to pack up his house and go with you. Older men don't tend to enjoy change as much as younger men do. They like what they've become accustomed to, and they will expect you to understand that.
4. Your Friends Won't Mesh
Forget "friendsgiving" and double dates with your best friend. At least, not right away. Dating an older man means that the majority of his friends are older as well. Can you imagine taking your high off life care-free friends around his stuffy and overly polished and professional friends? You both might often feel like you have to keep your friendships separate from your relationship for a while until you figure out how to mix the two, if ever!
MUST READ: Let's Do It Again: How To Date After Divorce
5. No More Shared Firsts
An older man has "been there and done that". Depending on all that he has experienced in his life, he may have been married before, had kids before, and traveled all the places you've wanted to go. If you are one that wants to grow with someone and experience all that life has to offer for the first time together, this may not be the relationship for you.
Visit KissTheChaos.com and follow me on Instagram: @Ooolala_laa
