T.D. Jakes is known all around the world as the founder and lead pastor of a 30,000-person mega-church, The Potter's House, a sought-after speaker, a counsel to presidents, a movie producer and a best-selling author. But before all the fame, awards and accolades, Bishop Jakes was a young man with a vision at a church in West Virginia.
That’s where he met his wife, Serita, whom he married in 1982. Now, over three and a half decades and five grown children later, the two are still together — traveling the country, sharing the Gospel and serving communities through various humanitarian projects.
Their union is a strong one, but it hasn't always been warm and fuzzy. Just six months into their marriage, Bishop Jakes and Serita survived a horrific car crash that left Serita with severe leg and foot injuries. Doctors weren’t sure she would ever walk again. Throughout her recovery, Bishop Jakes was by her side, and now they both view it as a blessing in disguise.
“I think it enriched our marriage in a lot of ways,” he says. “But it was very difficult to go through.”
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“I prayed for her, I took care of her, I cooked for her, I washed her hair, I taught her how to walk — literally," Bishop told the Huffington Post. "[I] stood in front of her and said, ‘You can do this,’ and taught her to walk again,” he said proudly.
Eventually, Serita made a full recovery. The whole ordeal, both believe, only made their bond even stronger.
“It brought us together,” Bishop Jakes says. “We have an unexplainable connection... I guess, at the core, we’re friends.”
Celebrating their 38th wedding anniversary, Bishop Jakes shares this heartfelt message on his social media.
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"Thirty-eight years ago, two young people sliced this cake, oblivious to the magnitude of experiences we would encounter, the fire with which we would be tried, the confluence of abject poverty and influence we would ultimately have to manage! Almost four decades later, five children, eight grandchildren, and thirty thousand spiritual children, we are still sweet to each other. ⠀
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This quarantine has given me a gift of undistracted time at home, sheltering in place with you has been amazing. It has been metaphorical to our marriage. With all the dangers of life, we have been sheltered in place. As we age, I have come to realize that it isn’t just that we sheltered in place for the pandemic. We have been sheltered in His grace for thirty-eight years. ⠀
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The truth is, you have been my pavilion, my haven in a storm, my amazing lover and friend, my calm and stable place! Happy Anniversary honey, you are sweeter than the cake we cut! ⠀
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I loved you then, today I love you so much more! Stay with me till my pulse stops and my eyes close, stay with me till my body temperature drops and my breathing ceases, I can’t live without you! ❤️ @SeritaJakes"
"Happy Anniversary to the classiest, most graceful mixture of leather and lace I ever wore in the pool! There's nothing as beautiful as love in all of its forms! And, with nothing to sustain us but that love, it still looks great on you!"
#KeepSwimming
Grab your paper and pen, because according to Jakes himself, here are five keys to a successful relationship.
1. Show Up.
There is a difference between simply being somewhere and showing up. Showing up means being fully present when you are with your significant other. What are some temptations that rob us from being enaged with our partner? Work is a common culprit; put away your cell phone and set boundaries that allow you to be attuned to your partner. Children can also serve as a distraction. Be sure carve out time that allows for you and your partner to connect one-on-one without the prospect for interruption.
2. Open Up.
We cannot truly and fully experience the depths of love without being willing to dive into the realm of vulnerability. To be loved is to be known through and through. As Timothy Keller says, “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial.” Why would we shortchange ourselves in one of the most profound and important areas of life? A thriving relationship requires a sacrificial act of opening up. Be free to love and receive love by becoming vulnerable.
3. 'Fess Up.
Anyone who is in a successful relationship has mastered these two words: “I’m sorry.” Disagreeing, making mistakes and working through challenges are not only normal, but healthy. Doing so shows signs of life –– partners living fully and learning from one another. Relationships become problematic when one partner refuses to acknowledge the moments where they've failed. Apologizing for mistakes does wonders to increase your humility and make your significant other feel valued. At the end of each day, take inventory of your missteps and apologize before you turn out the lights.
4. Listen Up.
The word “conversation” stems from a Latin term that means the “act of living with.” No one enjoys the thought of spending their lives with someone who is domineering, uninterested, or distant. When speaking with your significant other, actively listen to them. When they share with you, engage. Ask them to further explain the details of an event that happened in their day. Did they have a difficult phone call with their sibling? Ask them how it made them feel. Don’t cut them off or check out.
5. Speak Up.
We all know well that love is a two-way street, traffic will flow both ways. Failing to voice your true feelings in a loving way is a disservice to yourself, your spouse, and the relationship you share together. When you love your significant other, you want to know what they are thinking. It helps you know them more and makes you feel close. Apply that same logic to your spouse. They want to know what you're thinking. Share it!
