When we think about dating, what’s it really about? The purpose of dating, generally speaking, is for two or more people to assess one another's suitability and compatibility as a long-term companion or potential spouse. While we know that dating can be stressful sometimes and it is often easy to get caught up in “dinner and a movie” or the increasingly popular “Netflix & Chill,” this isn’t always ideal and can become boring pretty quickly.
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Whether you’re meeting someone for the first time or in the moment of rekindling the romance in your relationship, remember dating can be creative, fun, and yes romantic, too. As the summer sun calls your name, here are a few date night tips to make the most of this hot energy. These are guaranteed to make your summer dates fun, spontaneous, and adventurous and will absolutely say “I’m interested in getting to know you better!”
1. It starts with the invite.
A wonderful way to a great date begins and could possibly end with an invitation. Every woman can appreciate a chivalrous man and every man can appreciate an assertive woman. Your invitation sets the tone for the date. My suggestion is to always K.I.S.S. - Keep It Simple and Spontaneous.
Handwritten notes will never go out of style. It adds a personal touch to the invitation and shows that you went the extra mile. The invitation simply states the when, where and time of the date. You can bonus the invitation with your favorite scent. You can also do this via email or text message as well but, there’s just something about an invitation that sets the tone and the intent of the actual date.
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If you’ve been dating for a while or live together, these invitation notes can be next level. You can leave a Post-It Note in the bathroom, a rose, and a note on the passenger seat of his or her car or if you want to really go all out with the invitation, send a nice bouquet with your invitation to his or her job. Sound corny? YES, but just try it and watch how suddenly you are the man or the woman that he or she is thinking about and talking about, too!
2. Have a plan.
There’s nothing more disappointing than being asked on a date and there’s nothing planned to do. The date is filled with questions like, “Where do you want to go? What would you like to do?” It doesn’t have to be an elaborately planned date, but a man or woman with a plan says a lot. If it has to be a “Netflix & Chill” kinda date then go all out! Create movie tickets, grab theater snacks, and popcorn, and actually make it a movie date. Keep in mind this is suggested more for the couple that already knows one another pretty well. This is not an ideal date to get to know someone.
Grabbing a cup of coffee or tea, meeting at a museum, art gallery, or even an event that you’re both interested in attending are easy ways to test the waters, get to know someone better, have you engaged in hopefully a great conversation and provide an opportunity to get to know each other's likes and dislikes.
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Dating should be a series of fun experiences! Don’t take it or yourself so seriously. Enjoy finding things that you both enjoy doing and have fun doing them. If you both love nature, take a walk in the local park. If you’re a sports nut, check out a local sporting event. Find dates that let you be yourself, and most importantly, get to know your date.
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3. Use the city to your advantage!
Every city has so many cool things to do in the summer. The trick is planning, getting creative, and then last but not least, enjoying. Some great suggestions are outdoor dancing or movies in the park. If you have a nice backyard, you can create your own outdoor movie night, maybe even have multiple couples over. Most of your city zoos have events for adults. Have you checked out your local museums lately?
Check out the tours all around your city. Most cities have rock climbing tours, helicopter tours, boat tours, architectural tours, nature walks, day trekking tours and the list goes on and on. Then we have the festivals! Tasty treats along with good music make for great conversation.
All it takes is a quick Google search, some planning, an invitation, creativity and the city as your playground.
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4. Keep it creative.
As a relationship educator, one of the biggest complaints that I hear from couples is that the spontaneity and spice are leaving or no longer existent in their relationships or marriage. Relationships take work. The work is worth it but my suggestion to couples is to KEEP IT CREATIVE! One of my favorite lines from the movie "Love Jones” says it best:
“ROMANCE...is about the possibility of the thing, from the time when you first meet some fine ass woman... To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say I do. When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....nuh uh......they just EXHAUSTED THE POSSIBILITIES “ "Love Jones"
The possibilities can be endless when planning great date nights. All it takes is a little creativity. One of Making Love Better TwoGether’s signature suggestions is the “Date Night Box.” It’s a simple box that you can make together or one can be purchased. Once you've been on a few dates, things are going well and you’ve gotten to know each other, you take that box and in it, you both put in 12 things that you’d like to do. Then before it's date night, you just pull from your Date Night Box, plan and enjoy.
I also suggest cooking together. It can be a friendly competition, a battle of the meals, or just the moment of mixing spices, kneading some dough and sampling food. It allows both parties to get involved in the planning and to be adventurous, spontaneous and flex their creativity.
Planning a date is not always about the money being spent, but more about the time invested. Planning and seeing just how creative you can be to impress the person you just may be preparing to spend the rest of your life with is well worth it.
Yanni Brown is an author, blogger and relationship educator. If you asked her, “What’s love got to do with it?,” she’d answer without hesitation “Absolutely everything!” As far back as she can remember, Yanni has always been a passionate observer of relationships, intrigued with the dynamics of what works for some and didn’t work for others. She’s taken that passion and has made it a business. Yanni has been featured in Essence, Rolling Out, WCIU’s You and Me This Morning, the Six Brown Chicks blog and Black and Married With Kids. Best know for her appearance on OWN’s Iyanla: Fix My Life, Season 1 (“Fix My Backstabbing Friends”). Visit her atyannibrown.com.
