Lori Harvey has caused quite a stir online with her dating life, but one thing is for sure, the 26-year-old is dating on her terms, something that she learned from watching her parents.
After her split from Micheal B. Jordan in June 2022, Lori, who just made her relationship with “Snowfall” actor Damson Idris social media official, shared that she was on a quest to find “The One” and wanted a relationship that mirrors her parents (Steve and Marjorie Harvey).
“They’re definitely my couple goals. I literally was just talking to my mom on the phone earlier and she was telling me what she got my dad for their anniversary tomorrow and I’m like, ‘Wow, you guys are literally goals.’ This is what I want one day,” Lori told Us at the time.
Fortunately for Lori, she has Steve Harvey, who wears multiple hats including being a relationship expert. So what dating advice does the author of the best-selling relationship book “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” give his daughters?
In a recent Instagram post, Harvey shared a video where an audience member asked him what she needed to do to secure a second date. In response, the comedian shared the advice he gives his daughters: “let him see what he can get, but make him imagine what he can have.”
Not sure how to do this? Here are Harvey's must-ask questions on a first date:
- WHAT DO YOU VALUE MOST IN A RELATIONSHIP?
- WHAT QUALITY IS MOST ATTRACTIVE TO YOU IN A PARTNER?
- WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP LIKE WITH YOUR PARENTS?
- WHAT ARE YOUR LONG-TERM GOALS?
- NAME THREE THINGS YOU’D LIKE TO HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOUR PARTNER.
- WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
- WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WON’T TOLERATE IN A RELATIONSHIP?
- WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST STRENGTH AND WEAKNESS?
- ARE YOU FAMILY ORIENTED?
- HOW DO YOU SPEND YOUR DOWNTIME? (The older you are, the more important this is. This gives insight into income, without asking that and putting the man off, but make sure it is funded by credit card debt.)
- WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE IS YOUR WORST QUALITY?
- ARE YOU A GRUDGE HOLDER?
- WHAT IS THE LONGEST RELATIONSHIP YOU’VE BEEN IN AND WHY DID IT END?
- FOR WHAT IN LIFE DO YOU FEEL THE MOST GRATEFUL?
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Securing a second date is just one step towards building a long-lasting relationship like Harvey and his wife Marjorie. So how do you do it? Here are Harvey’s top dating tips:
1. Pay attention to the way he introduces you
"We're very protective. We mark our territory. If a man loves you...he's willing to profess it. He'll give you a title after a while. You're going to be his lady, his woman, his fiancée, his wife, his baby's mama, something," he says.
According to Harvey, if you’re still being introduced without a title after six months, you should be thinking, "This is going nowhere."
RELATED: Steve Harvey Walks, Bikes, & Climbs For The Kids
2. Understand that every man has a plan
"Men don't come up to you to just talk. We come up to you with a plan," he says. "We're looking across the room at you, and we don't care about your hopes and dreams. We don't care about what your future holds. We saw something we wanted."
3. Men will rise to the occasion if they want to
From a male perspective, Harvey says he already knows what he wants from a woman, but often wonders what it’ll cost him.
"How much time do you want from me? What [are] your standards? What are your requirements? Because we'll rise to the occasion no matter how high you set the bar if we want to," he says. "The problem is, women have stopped setting the bar high."
4. Men only want three things
According to Harvey, it all boils down to three things for men: support, loyalty, and sex (or as Harvey calls it “the cookie”). "We've got to have your support. Whatever adventure we're out on, whatever pursuit in life, we need your support. Then we need your loyalty. That's your love. We've got to know that you belong to us," he says. "And we've got to have a cookie. Everybody likes cookies. That's the thing about a cookie. I like oatmeal raisin...but if you've got vanilla cream, I'll eat that too."
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5. Decide what kind of fish you want to be
Although Harvey likens men to fishermen, he says women are actually the ones looking for a good catch. Finding a good man, according to Harvey requires upping your standards.
"You've got sports fishermen, and you've got guys out there fishing to eat. You've got guys that are fishing to keep the fish, and you've got guys that are fishing to catch them, unhook them and throw them back," Harvey says. "You've got to determine along the way which one of the fish you're going to be."
If you don’t want to end up back in the dating pool, "You've got to quit lowering your standards," he says. "Set your requirements up front so when a guy hooks you, he has to know this is business.
RELATED: Steve Harvey: “Sometimes You Just Gotta Jump”
6. Don’t let the man set the tone of the relationship
Remember, you’ve always had total control and that shouldn’t change just because you’re in a relationship. "With all that power, why do you suddenly relinquish this power just because you want a guy to accept you? That's stupid," he says. "Say: 'Look, if you want to be with me, this is what you got to do. This is what it takes to get to me.'"
7. Get to the point
Those four little words that women love: “we need to talk” are frightening for men. Because men are fixers, not talkers, Harvey says it’s better to get to the point.
"When you say, 'We need to talk,' we put up the barriers," he says. "I tell ladies, just sit down and strike up a conversation."
8. Avoid communicating over social media and texts
"You have nothing if you're texting a guy in a relationship," he says. "We can text six women a minute. We can text it and push 'reply all.' I mean, since we're lying, we might as well lie to everybody."
Harvey says chivalry isn’t dead, you just have to have more face-to-face conversations. "You've got to get a guy in your face. Look in his eyes. ... God has given you all this incredible thing called intuition. You've got to use that."
Who knows, maybe these tips will help you find the love you deserve this year.
