Deon Cole, the stand-up comedian, actor, comedy writer and all-out, hilarious, funny guy who brought so many smiles to the world is hurting as he mourns the passing of his beautiful mother, Charleen Cole. The matriarch passed away in September 2021.
But what makes it doubly hard is that she passed exactly 30 days before her birthday. Now, around every birthday, the comedian takes it hard--and rightfully so as Cole's mom was his right hand--his everything! He pays respects to her again this year on her birthday
"Today is my mother’s birthday (Charleen Cole)," writes Deon on Instagram. "This is unreal to me. I am uncontrollably depressed and hurt. This is the first time EVER I’ve not spoken to her on her birthday, it’s devastating. Anyway, Happy birthday mommy! I miss you sooooo much, I miss you soooo much mommy! I love u soooo much. Geeze, ……..Happy birthday mommy!!!!"
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The heartbreaking news was released in a statement posted on the comedian’s official Instagram page.
The statement read:
"I want to thank everyone for all your love, well wishes and prayers it truly meanings a lot. This is by far the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. Anything I ever done was for my mother and I. Being the only child with no father or siblings my mother is everything to me, my biggest fan, my pastor, my lawyer, my best friend and everything in between. Please bear with me as I find my new normalcy in life now. Her absence in this life is a pain that will live with me forever but I'm learning that staying BUSY, keeping my mind occupied and an occasional break down daily helps with the pain. So I’ve begun filming again and I will be back to doing stand-up too with the sole purpose of bringing joy to people’s lives and in return that gives me joy. My mother is still with me in spirit and she will forever be. Thank you all again for your understanding and support and I’ll see you all soon somewhere."
Just a few short years ago on her birthday, Deon celebrated his mom's birthday with a post on Twitter showing the world just how much she meant to him.
He mentioned that she is his "friend, fan, lawyer, spiritual advisor, safe space..."-- pretty much his everything!
As unfortunately, many of us know the pain of losing a parent just as a Deon did, so fellow celebrities and fans have been reaching out on social media to offer their condolences.
Another celebrity, singer Keisha Cole, recently lost her mom as well.
Cole's mom, Frankie, who also became a social media sensation, overdosed at her Oakland home Sunday, the same day she was celebrating her born day, when she apparently took drugs while partying. This was a relapse on what has been a long, hard-fought journey to sobriety.
As of March of 2020, just before the pandemic lockdowns took full effect, Frankie hit a huge benchmark: staying 60 days sober, something her daughter was proud to share with her IG fans and followers. She has yet to comment on her mother’s death.
It doesn't matter how a mother dies, the pain of their death can hit hard--no matter who you are.
Here are three things our licensed therapist, Leontyne Marshall, shares what we can do.
1. Share The Things They Loved With Others In Your Life
My mom loved a particular Chinese restaurant and often celebrated her most important milestones over a plate of shrimp fried rice. Now, in her memory, I find it comforting to dine there as well.
Inject the inevitable materialism of the season with some meaning. Taking your loved ones to your late mom’s favorite restaurant for a holiday meal, and ordering the most decadent dessert for the table can be a great way to rework the sad narrative into a more joyful one.
2. Start Your Own Traditions
Your parents probably came up with most of those magical traditions you loved while growing up. By keeping this in mind, you might embrace the opportunity to come up with something creative and quirky that your loved ones will remember as nothing but pure magic.
For instance, my youngest sister forced us to go ice-skating last year a few weeks before our mom passed. I thought it was a nuisance then. Now, I realize it was the unknowing start to a wonderful new tradition that will repurpose the meaning of the holidays for us.
3. Do what you need to do
Now, you can read all the advice you want and you can talk to all the grief counselors you want, but at the end of the day, this is about you and YOUR healing. So whatever that healing looks like for you--then do it. As long it doesn't hurt or scare those around you, do it for you. Healing is one of the most personal things we can do for ourselves as a human being. Even though it can be hard for people to understand sometimes, do what's best for your heart.
Rest well, Ms. Cole. We love you and your son.
