No one really knows where half of these relationship rules come from, however, they are passed down from generation to generation as the way, the truth and the light of relationship religion. By now , many have heard of the infamous 90 day rule coveted and preached by comedian, daytime television host and author of Act Like a Lady, Think Like A Man Steve Harvey. Many have gone to the extent of trying out this relationship technique to see what type of value it could actually bring to a budding relationship. Like with most things in life, there are pros and cons to this 90 day rule that those who are deciding to take part in this dating strategy should be made aware of. If this process is something that intrigues you, take a look at the following benefits and downfalls of the 90 day rule.
The entire premise of the 90 day rule is for one to withhold sexual activity for a total of three months, ideally promoting the development of intimacy, bonding and respect. Women are primarily the ones who gravitate towards this rule, as it puts them in a place of power and control when it comes to the budding relationship. One of the main benefits of waiting 90 days before engaging in sexual activity is having the ability to make sound choices and decisions when it comes to sex. When first meeting a man that captures her interest, a woman can jump into sexual activity with little thought of how this will have an effect on the relationship down the road, and for some this fact alone is a deciding factor for whether the relationship will have long term value or a “just for the moment” appeal. No woman wants to be viewed as “loose” or easy, so the 90 day rule is appealing in the sense that it can make a woman appear calculated in her approach when it comes to sexual desire and expression.
Another benefit many believe the 90 day rule provides is the promise of commitment at the end of the period. After 90 days, if a man is able to resist his sexual urges for a woman, he will fall in love with her as a whole and not only her sexual ability. This benefit of the 90 day rule hasn’t always proven to be true, but one can dream.
As wonderful as the 90 day rules sounds to women, for men it places a different sentiment. In polling over 100 men personally via social media, my studies concluded that most men view the 90 day rule as something that is a game that doesn’t conclude in the desired outcome of most women. Many women use the 90 day rule to secure commitment, however, for many men withholding sex to ensure long term stability and commitment isn’t the way to his heart. This type of commitment makes men feel as if they have to go through a trial period just to prove themselves which is a huge turn off.
All in all, the 90 day rule is something that is subjective for each person and should be attempted with clear understanding of what the relationship standard is and where it is going. No one wants to be toyed with or played for the ego building of another, so be honest and clear up front about intentions.
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Glamazon Tyomi is a freelance writer, model and sex educator with a deeply rooted passion for spreading the message of sex positivity and encouraging the masses to embrace their sexuality. Her website, www.sexperttyomi.com, reaches internationally as a source for advice and information for the sexually active/curious. Follow her on Twitter at @glamazontyomi.