Breaking up sucks, but it isn't just for significant others and lovers. Sometimes you outgrow your friendships. Many times we outgrow these relationships long before we even start seeing the signs. Breaking up with your friend is just as hard sometimes as breaking up with your mate. It's tough, but more than likely necessary.
Keeping a good, supportive circle of people around you is not only important for your happiness, but it's also crucial to your health. According to a 10-year Australian study published in The Journal of Epidemiology & Community Health, participants that had a solid circle of supportive friends were 22% more likely to live longer than those without. It may be time to make sure the people in your life are adding to it, instead of taking it away.
Take a look at the signs below and evaluate!
1. They are needy.
We all have come across that one person in life that you realize needs you for absolutely EVERYTHING. It's like you birthed a grown child and didn't even know.
Dependence can come in many forms, and oftentimes we overlook this as an issue because we want to be there for our friends. The issue is when it becomes apparent that they always need you.
Emotional sustenance is a common one. Are you constantly helping your friend make decisions no matter the size? Are you talking through every single issue that arises in their life, so much that you could possibly call yourself their freelance consultant? This could be an issue."Friendships should be mutually beneficial," says Asha Tarry, CEO of Behavioral Health Consulting Services.
And what about financial assistance? Does your friend run to you every time they are in a bind and can't pay their rent? It may seem harmless at first, but after a while, it has to be draining. If this friend is always in need of you when it comes to your time of need, who would you be able to turn to?
RELATED: 7 Tell-Tale Signs You’re In A Toxic Relationship
2. You avoid them.
Have you ever felt obligated to be someone's friend, but truly had no interest? Do you always find a reason to cancel your plans with them? Do you feel a bit relieved when they leave? It may be time to revisit this friendship. Friendships should be a mutually-desired relationship.
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3. There is always conflict.
Do you and your friend make Porsha Stewart and Kenya Moore's (from Real Housewives) relationship look tame? If so, "Houston, we have a problem!"
There should be no reason why conflict is the center of your relationship, whether it be obvious conflict or underlying conflict. If you all can'tseem to get on the same page about anything, it may be time to go your separate ways!
4. Friendship whiplash is the norm.
Do you and your friend have an on and of again relationship? Is your relationship with them beginning to feel like the one you had with your college ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend, the one that you loved so much you couldn't let go? This is not a healthy friendship.
According to Tarry, "If you're engaged in an "on again, off again" friendship, you have come back more than one time because you're psychologically trying to either repair or replace the feelings you have about the relationship and usually, there is a hope that in trying again maybe you'll fix it or figure out what "it" is." If the relationship can't be consistent more than it is inconsistent, say goodbye!
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5. Trust is lost.
When your friend betrays you, it's time to really evaluate. Does this mean kicking them to the curb on sight? In some cases yes, but in most no.
It does mean that you need to take a step back and think about the value of this relationship to you.
Friends share so much of themselves and their lives with each other. When someone takes advantage of being a part of that, they may not be worthy of being in your circle. Do a gut check. If it doesn't feel good or right, it's time to move on!
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