Hyper-Masculinity: Shifting The Narrative

the messages we send to our boys; our black boys.

So, It’s time we rewrite this narrative.

The truth is, it is absolutely okay for men to cry. Crying is a very natural reaction to sadness, pain and even happiness. Telling our boys that crying is equated to weakness shuns out a side of them that is completely natural and human. Crying is our body’s way of dealing with grief. When we internalize our emotions, it makes the coping process harder; which means we never get to face it. What we’re teaching is backward.

We openly express we want our men to be “men”; to be able to handle things as maturely as they can; to be able to communicate effectively. But on the other hand, we’ve taught them since birth that showing emotion physically, or verbally, is “gay”. The two can’t thrive together.

Furthermore, Women, how can we expect our men to show us compassion, be understanding or empathetic to our needs, when we send so much backlash to them for wanting to experience that within themselves? The only time we want our men to cry is when they see us walk down the aisle to them on our wedding day? This is absurd. Male introversion is a real thing and it puts a real hindrance on the emotional intelligence of a person.

For our community specifically, hypermasculinity dates back to slavery when our black men were seen as super strong–desired specifically for their strength to endure hard and strenuous labor. Slave owners desired these black men who didn’t show emotions because that meant that obeying “orders” and “commands” would be an easy task.

It meant that owners wouldn’t have to