Life as a Cancer Survivor: How to Make The 'New Normal' Work for You

When treatment ends, you’ll find that you have new concerns – about how to view life. This may include treatment-related issues and worry about recurrence. Additionally, you may have changed during treatment and now see the world in a new way.

Finding your new normal takes time…and we are here to support you along the way. Below, is helpful information to support your journey.

Living as a survivor

Living as a survivor can be defined in many ways. Each person is unique, but there are three general ways in which to describe a survivor, based upon their experience at the time.

The first description is called “acute survivorship” which is when the patient is being diagnosed and/or is in cancer treatment.

The next level, immediately post-treatment, is called “extended survivorship” and this is usually measured in monthly increments.

The next step after extended survivorship is referred to as “permanent survivorship”, which is measured in years. There are many complexities to survivorship.

Life after treatment

Life after treatment is very different than before your diagnosis, and it is also very different during your cancer treatment. Many aspects of your life have changed. Your appearance may be different, you may not be working, your finances might be more complex, and your relationships with your friends and family may have changed.

In addition, you may have feelings of anxiety or guilt, you may need time to get back to your previous activity level, or you might need to build up your strength and endurance to return to work.

However, as overwhelming as this may seem, there are many resources for cancer survivors, from support groups, to individual therapy, to vocational and financial counselors you can use to help you in your new life and new identity.

Also, you may consider giving back to those who helped you through your experience, or you may want to help others with their battle with cancer. Life after cancer is an adjustment, but there are so many programs and resources in place to help you build your new life.

Survivor’s guilt

You may have survived cancer, but you also may have an increased sense of guilt. You may feel guilty for many reasons:

you didn’t notice your symptoms sooner
you were a burden on your family or friends
your illness or treatment may have been a significant financial burden
your treatment may not have worked as you thought it would
you have survived while other people may have not survived

Guilt should be addressed because not dealing with it can lead to depression and is not very healthy.

You can address and overcome guilt by accepting that these feelings may come and go, seeking solace, or discovering tools in which to address these feelings such as a support group or a counselor. Being thankful and focusing on the positive elements in your new life may also help reduce or counteract feelings of guilt.

A new identity

Experiencing and surviving cancer can change you in many ways. Living as a survivor gives you a new identity. You may have different emotions, look at relationships in a new light, or you may take a serious look at your life in general. Maybe you’d like a more meaningful career, or maybe you’d like to work a less stressful job that would give you more time at home with your family. Cancer may cause you to look at your life through a new lens and may encourage you to live your life differently as a survivor.

Dating

Dating can always be challenging, but dating after cancer can be a different experience. Cancer survivors may have body image challenges, but once you feel confident, you should start dating. You should think of what you’d like as qualities in a partner and start from there.

Consider when you’d like to tell a date or potential partner about your experience with cancer. This is a very personal decision. Would you rather tell someone upfront or wait and see if there is a relationship developing?

Once you’re in a situation where you would like to be honest with the other person, practice how you’d like to tell the person. Being honest will prevent any future issues or possible resentment in your partner.

Successfully navigating a “new normal” that works for you may take some trial and error, but we hope these tips help.

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