When you find that person who is that ride or die, that person who you can disclose any information without any judgment or fear of it getting out to the world… you’ve found a lifelong friend. So, why is it so hard in 2018 to find a close friend who you can tell all your deep secrets to and who really wants to be there for you?
According to a recent study, results showed that, ultimately, feelings regarding the level of closeness between two "friends" were only mutual 53 percent of the time. Thus, resulting in roughly half of all relationships being built without an equal understanding of how close the two "friends" really are.
This could potentially be due to the fact that every person defines what friendship is and what makes up a friend differently.
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For instance, for one person, getting lunch every day and making small talk can mean that they're close friends with the other person, whereas that other person might only consider them as barely an acquaintance.
So, is it just a misunderstanding? Do people really know thedifference in types of friendships?
The Definition of A Friend
A true friend keeps it real. They have your back, they’re honest and they never try to deceive you to make themselves seem stronger, more successful, or better than they really are. They accept you for who you are (flaws and all), they want what’s best for you always.
A real friend, on the other hand, stays with you through traumas, disappointments, mental health crises, and physical illnesses. They don't abandon you just because it's easier or more comfortable to avoid you. They are literally there for you no matter what.
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What Makes Someone A ‘Best Friend?’
When it comes to a best friend, it’s more than just having similar interests. It’s a special bond that could quite possibly never be broken. Even if you’re mad at each other or have a huge falling out, you will always havelove for this person and find your way back together.
A best friend will check off the most important boxes for you, that includes:
- No judgment
- Genuine
- Accepting
- Trustworthy
- Respectful
- Forgiving
- Supportive
- Dependable
- Thoughtful
- Good listener
- Shares your same humor
- Loves you for you
The Difference Between Acquaintances, Party Friends & Real Friends
Yes, it can be hard to tell the difference between these three types of friends. However, you must know the difference for your own sanity and safety.
Acquaintances are people who you encounter by default. You never make plans to actually hang out together, you do, however, just so happen to always be together. This can come from affiliation, association or organization.
For example, if you have a friend who always invites another one of her friends out with you guys, butyou guys never made a connection with each other or exchanged information to hang out separately from that other friend, then you guys are surely just acquaintances.
Party friends are pretty much just that. You guys get together to hit the club scene together, events, and gatherings. You may even text and talk every now and then, however, you never really talk or share anything substantial or truly personal with one another.
A real friend will call you up on a whim to see how you’re doing and feeling. They will ask you about your family, friends and loved ones. When you tell them about hardships or low points in your life they will immediately try to take action to help out in any way they can. They are great listeners and supporters, reliable and understanding.
Social Media & Friendships
When it comes to social media and friendships, it’s hard for some to truly distinguish what a Facebook friend is and what a real friend is who they speak with every day. The thing is, you may interact every single day with people you’ve met in the past through social media, but that does not, however, make you friends in real life.
One cannot truly know orkeep up with the changes in your life by just scrolling your Instagram every week.
Just ask yourself this first if you are truly in question if a friend on social media is really a true friend or not: If you needed a place to stay, would they extend their home to you?
Determining If Your Friendships Are Real
Put your friendship to the test! Ask a friend for help moving furniture and see if they will help or not. You want friends who are dependable and there for you just as much as you are there for them.
Also, if you want to attract good friends, make sure you're being a good friend in return. It's not enough to expect that all your friends are going to surround you, support you, help and listen to you whenever you have to vent if you're not going to return the kindness and the generosity back to them.
And remember, not all friendships are built the same. Some people are in your life for a reason or just a season, but when you do find a connection, make sure to put an effort into that friendship so that it is real, true, and lasting.
Tia Muhammad, BS, is an award-winning freelance content & media creative, copywriter, blogger, digital designer, and marketing consultant. She owns the boutique content and digital media company, jackieGLDN|studio.
