stealthing/gaslighting to saying, “Sex feels better without a condom.” Whatever they say, believe none of it; your anger and other emotions are valid.
If you or someone you know has been a victim of stealthing, understand that this was not your fault, the perpetrator violated your trust and ruined what could have been a beautiful experience.
Closing
Pleasure is your birthright; no one can take that freedom away from you. Anything that is done to your body requires your consent now and in the future. If you or someone you know has experienced stealthing, I’m sorry, and I hope you found ways to reclaim your body and autonomy after that experience.
Seek medical care immediately for STI testing and a pregnancy test. Whoever your person is, whether that’s your best friend or a therapist, seek their support and comfort. No matter what anyone tells you, you deserve healthy sexual relationships that are based on trust, respect, and healthy communication. Please take care of yourself in whatever way you need to.
Be on the lookout for more articles from “SPEAK UP!” interns. If you are or know of any Black college-aged and enrolled women interested in the health and wellness of Black students on HBCU campuses, please visit Save a Girl Save a World for more information.
Resources
National Sexual Assault Hotline
National Domestic Violence Hotline
Aravia Patterson, MPH is a 27-year-old SAGSAW/SPEAK Up! Intern and Ph.D. Student at the University of Louisville studying Health Promotion and Behavioral Sciences.