If you’re in a serious relationship, arguments will certainly happen. What happens when you say something that you can never come back from? Was there a way to avoid it beforehand? Could you have made that argument actually productive and learn something new from it?
The answer is yes. There is always room to grow and to learn from our mistakes. Check out these 6 ways to make everyday arguments productive:
Listen for understanding, not just to respond.
When you’re arguing with your significant other, things can go downhill fast. Each person already knows the other’s faults, insecurities, and past. Those are the very things that will cut them deep. Next time you get into an argument, listen for understanding and not just to respond.
If you’re listening just to reply with an even harsher comeback, the argument will never end. If they’re saying “you always leave the toilet seat up”. If you listen to understand, what they’re really saying is “I’m not comfortable using the bathroom that way”. Always take “you” out of the situation and replace it with “I”. You will start to look at all your arguments a lot more differently.
Ask genuine questions to get the root of the cause.
If you genuinely do not understand where the other is coming from, break the situation down. Get to the root of the cause by