Some of you might remember that old television show, “The Dating Game.” There would be three eligible bachelors or bachelorettes sitting behind a screen, and the one looking for a suitable match would sit in front and ask pretty easy questions. Fast-forward to today, and you have television series’ like “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette,” as well as “Ready to Love” on OWN, which are quite intense—with sexual situations and multiple partners before the key person makes a decision of whom to marry. On top of that, technology now allows you to click-on your future husband or wife with a click or a swipe on your smart phone. Dating sure has changed!
For those of you in your 50’s or 60’s who may have been out of the dating pool for a while, it can seem a bit overwhelming—especially in this era of COVID. But do not fear. With a bit of research and personal assessment of what feels right to you, jump on in. From what I’ve been able to ascertain, the water can be fine. You do, however, need to decide what end of the pool—deep or shallow—you want to jump into, and whether you want to dip a toe in first, or dive right in.
To me, what’s most important is to know your objectives. What are you looking for? Marriage? A committed relationship? A dating relationship? Pen Pal? Travel partner? A friend with Benefits? It is critical to be honest with yourself so your expectations will be in alignment with your actions.
Next, what approach are you most comfortable with? There are three basic options:
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First, those of us in the 50-60’s age bracket generally met our partners through friends, church, social events or college—in other words, through personal interactions or recommendations. If you are still the most comfortable with that approach, then it’s important to be clear about that. The key is to let your friends know you’re back on the market, and let them know what you are looking for!
Second, if you’re willing to try a technology-driven approach like the many dating apps out there, why not be open? You can always come back to what’s more comfortable for you. I’ll list some here for you to explore.
Third, there is a middle-ground, and that is the matchmaker approach. There are matchmaker options available. They tend to be on the expensive side, but they will take extensive information from you and do a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of connecting you with like-minded potential matches, for a hefty fee and a long-term commitment. I’ll list a few of those as well.
Dating apps for seniors:
eHarmony.com – Attracts people looking for commitment and long-term relationships. Gives an extensive personality test to determine lifestyles, goals and traits. Their computer matches you up for a monthly fee. There is a free version, but not as much is there. Tends to have some diverse options.
Match.com – This is one of the oldest dating apps out there. It offers broad reach. You do the work of going through lots of profiles, and you may have to respond to many as well. They offer a free version and a fee-based version as well. Tends to have more diverse options.
OurTime.com – Exclusively for over age 50 singles, this site has diverse options and a range of people looking for different types of companionship.
EliteSingles.com and EliteDating.com – Both recommended by Newsweek for seniors. Uses an extensive personality test and only sends five to seven matches per day. Elite Dating also focuses on college educated singles.
SilverSingles.com – Also recommended by Newsweek, it matches around 2,000 couples monthly using a personality test and a custom algorithm. You only can see photos, however, with a premium membership.
MatchMaking apps:
Tawkify.com – A relatively new app/site, after an initial screening call, working with a matchmaker, you develop a private profile and select an approach as a client or match member. From there, curated, safe dates are arranged.
ItsJustLunch.com – This site has been around for 29 years. After a screening call, matchmakers also select matches for you and arrange dates. Nothing is online.
So, now that you have some things to think about and explore, I also want you to be safe out there in dating land, particularly with the dating apps, but also with someone whom you may meet personally through a recommendation. As author Maya Angelou often said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them!”
Stay safe dating tips:
I suggest only meeting in a public place initially, where you can quickly exit if need be, and always let someone else know where you’ll be. Here are some other red flags to watch for, ladies, from other websites:
- If he only texts and never calls
- If he doesn’t make plans or fails to keep them
- If he asks for money
- If he tells you a sob story about his ill mother, family member or even his own health
- If he asks for your personal information
- If he refuses to meet virtually via Skype, Zoom or FaceTime
- If he can’t prove he lives where he says he lives
- If he ghosts you, or shows inconsistency in communication
So, sizzlers, life is fun when you have someone to share it with. Dating in your 60’s is doable. Just take your time, know what you want and be careful out there.
Jump in the pool! The water can be fine.
Hugs,
Amy
