Facebook and Twitter are always filled with messages, status updates and memes containing words of wisdom for those who are in the dating pool waiting to find true love. The term #RelationshipGoals is one of the most clicked on hashtags.
Many of these status updates come from people who have passed through the ropes of courting and have now ended up on the side of commitment through holy matrimony, while others contain information from those who have become bitter because of relationships that missed the mark of happiness.
It can be difficult sometimes for a woman who doesn’t know a thing about the standards of dating and the “rules” that follow them to know just exactly what to do to land the heart of a man who has caught her attention, but relationship counselors always has a great message for women looking to land the men they deserve.
Mistake #1: Expecting Him to Deal with Your Baggage
It doesn’t matter if your baggage is two years old or 20 years old—do not take it on your date or into your next relationship. No guy you are just starting to date wants to hear about how your ex cheated on you in your own house, how mr. so-and-so was connected to this celebrity, or how your worthless baby daddy never stepped up to the plate. Most men date with the hopes of getting to know you.
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That’s very hard to do if you keep talking about your worst experience with the previous guy. It makes your date think, Why should I pay for the last guy’s mistakes?
Men don’t mind hearing about what you were able to overcome, but don’t want to constantly hear why the last relationship didn’t work out and how it was his fault, blah, blah, blah. That lets us know you’re not really over the past and we need to move on or put you in the “pretty-but-not-ready-for-a-relationship” category. Inquiring minds need to know how you deal with anger. So short responses like, “I’ve been focusing on my career and getting some things paid off” are great answers to why you may be single.
Mistake 2: Thinking, You can work with this
You go out on a date or two with Mr. Maybe, figure out what you don’t like about him, and then say those fateful words: I can change him. You’re not entirely wrong. There are small things a guy will switch up for a woman. For example, a man will change his wardrobe, maybe buy a few more of those shirts you said looked “sexy” on him.
But if you’re looking for a major transformation, don’t waste your date nights. Mr. So-and-so isn’t going to stop chasing his rap career at 40+ years old. The cute guy from the grocery store isn’t going to convert to your church values. And a dude who was having sex before he met you isn’t going to suddenly
