Sex therapy is far from a new aspect of psychotherapy but it’s still not as widely understood as it should be. As with any other form of therapy, sex therapy is focused on helping persons improve a particular part of their lives by addressing the areas that could be holding them back.
There are many reasons why individuals or couples may need to find a sex therapist.
Who Needs Sex Therapy?
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Anyone who is dealing with some kind of sexual dysfunction that’s interfering with having healthy intimacy can seek out a sex therapist. It’s estimated that 43% of women and 31% of men may deal with issues that affect their sex lives.
Some common reasons for getting sex therapy include:
- Low or excessive libido
- A lack of interest in sex
- Erectile dysfunction
- Premature ejaculation
- Low sexual or self-confidence
- An inability to reach orgasm
- Being unable to control the sexual desire
- Having undesirable sexual fetishes
- Having distressing thoughts about sex
- A lack of response to sexual stimulus
Bear in mind that this list is not exhaustive and other factors can affect being able to have a fulfilling sex life.
What Does Sex Therapy Entail
Sex therapy differs from general relationship therapy in that the therapist will pay specific attention to the sexual areas of the relationship. These therapists are aware that solving the problems can be complex and it’s not helpful to assume that everything will fall into place once the couple is in a better place with their relationship.
That means a sex therapy session will include frank and honest discussions of what you’re experiencing. While there will be a lot of talk about sex, there will be no practical demonstrations of a sexual nature.
Of course, if the therapist suspects that there is a physical cause for your sexual dysfunction, you’ll be referred to a physician. At that point, the therapist and physician will work together to help you.
Apart from the work that’s done inside the office, a sex therapist may also suggest some helpful exercises or assignments for you to do at home. The aim of these activities is to reinforce what you’re learning during the therapy sessions. Some possible exercises are:
- Taking a pleasure-based approach to intimacy
- Expanding foreplay
- Learning how both persons express love
- Learning what you and your partner like during sex
- Making intimacy a priority
- Establishing limitations for each other
- Becoming more playful while being intimate
Finding The Right Therapist
If you’re looking for a sex therapist, it’s ideal to start with an official organization such as the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists (AASECT). When meeting with a therapist, it’s good to work with someone with whom you’re compatible. As you’re discussing a potential treatment plan, ensure that you understand what is expected of you and that you’re on board with the suggested plan.
Depending on your circumstances, you’ll also need to decide between the couple or individual therapy sessions. In some cases, couples decide to start therapy as individuals then have joint sessions after certain issues have been addressed.
As an African American, it might be helpful to find a sex therapist who is familiar with the culture. That’s because there is still some hesitation to discuss sexual intimacy and dysfunction in the black community. While the steps involved in helping you improve your sex life will be similar, the approach might be different.
Problems with sexual intimacy are not rare.
Still, persons don’t always seek out the help they need to make things better. Sex therapists are well-equipped to assess and treat the different types of sexual dysfunction that exist. Everyone should have the sex life they deserve.
