Are you a person who consciously sets goals for yourself? Like – I want to get to my favorite exercise class Saturdays and Wednesdays. Or, I want to make an effort to speak with my parents every week. Or, I want to stop multitasking when I’m playing with my children.
If you are someone who works hard to set goals and then follow through on them, then you have probably thought a lot about how to break down and execute those goals.
For example, maybe you work on coordinating your schedule and signing up for those exercise classes in advance before they book up; maybe you make a standing date with your parents that they’ll phone you Sunday mornings; maybe you start the habit of turning your phone on silent in the hour before your children’s bedtime.
An often-overlooked piece in the goal-setting puzzle is what you do after you take a step consistent with your goal. The first time you show up to your exercise class that week, what then?
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If you are in the habit of celebrating those victorious moments withthe people you hold dear to your heart, then I have very good news for you. Doing so can be a powerful strategy to cultivate well-being and help you continue on your path of meeting your goals.
Here are the key ingredients for celebrating your small victories along the way:
1.You are able to recognize that you engaged in goal-consistent behavior. Keep in mind the step can be a small one, it just needed to take you one step closer toward your goals.
2.You tell someone about it! The trick is picking someone who is likely to get why this event was meaningful for you and is able to respond with enthusiasm and interest.
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3.They show you with their words as well as their nonverbal behavior that this is great! They ask you to give them details about what happened, and they encourage you to reflect on how this goal takes you closer to other goals you might have or the life you want to lead.
When you have these conversations, you may notice that you are in a good mood – talking aboutpositive things in your life helps you continue to experience positive feelings. You may also notice that you feel a stronger connection with the person you told. Indeed, celebrating good news and goal-consistent behavior with responsive friends, family members, and partners helps them learn more about you and teaches you that they understand important pieces of your life.
And, last but not least, you may notice that you are much more likely to remember that you took a step toward your goals when you have a conversation about it. Remembering that you followed through on your goal is critical, especially since it is all-too-easy to focus on all that you did not do or all that you still need to do.
To work on celebrating your victories, go back and read steps 1-3 again, this time picturing who you might turn to when you inch toward your goals. Every momentary victory – like picking up the phone when it rings or putting your phone on silent – is a victory that can be celebrated and keep you on a path to generating even more positive events in your life.
Rachel Hershenberg, Ph.D., is a licensed clinical psychologist specializing in the research and treatment of depression. She is an assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Emory University, and director of psychotherapy in Emory’s Treatment Resistant Depression program. She serves as co-chair of the American Psychological Association’s Committee on Science and Practice in the Society of Clinical Psychology and received a 2016 Career Development Leadership Award in Clinical Research from the Anxiety and Depression Association of America. She has published over twenty-five peer-reviewed publications and has appeared as a guest specialist on local radio. She lives in the Atlanta area. Her new book, Activating Happiness, is available for purchase on Amazon and Indiebound. Rachel may be found on Twitter and Goodreads and PsychologyToday.
